limacharlie | [PUBLIC CHANNEL] DAY 88 - RE: FOSTER'S MUSHI DICK PLOT

[Dammit.

He switches over.]

Why do you ask?

[ Ψiigh...]

Because I care about you and I don't like hearing you sound so upset.

I'd like to help, so please tell me where you are.

[What the fuck is happening here, he doesn't even know. He drops down to sit on his bed, dragging the hand not holding his radio down his face.]

...Why?

Why do you even-- dammit.

[He can hear his voice shaking again. What the hell is he supposed to do about any of this?]

Look, you don't have to... to pretend that you're not angry with me.

I am mad, but that doesn't mean I don't care or that your happiness is unimportant to me.

...Please tell me where you are.

...I'm in my trailer. Okay?

[He had assumed but.]

On my way.

[It takes him literal seconds to get there, gently knocking on the door as he lands in front of it.]

[That was quick. But of course it was; he wouldn't have expected any different.

Ginko stands up and goes to the door, pulling it open slowly. He looks at Psi, just for a moment, then his gaze moves to somewhere past him.]

...Hey.

[He actually thinks about it for half a second, but the internal debate about it is very short lived before he just straight up hugs Ginko and holds him close.]

This is not your fault.

Edited 2017-04-29 22:33 (UTC)

[Ginko is already in the process of preparing himself for a number of possibilities as to how this could go - most of which involve him getting chewed out again.

He... isn't ready for this, though. Even if he had thought of it as a possibility, he probably wouldn't be "prepared" for it, exactly. Ginko goes very still, not breathing, even his tail stopping its frustrated lashing.

It takes him a few seconds to be able to respond. Even then, he doesn't move, his arms still hanging by his sides.]

I know. [He's not the one who did this. It's not like he could have anticipated it, either.]

But it's still because of me. There's no denying that.

[Still hugging this idiot, even if he doesn't hug back, just for a bit longer.]

If you think anyone cares about that except you, you're a fool.

[He laughs, even quieter than usual. It's more like just a quick, shaky exhalation, really.]

Maybe they should.

[He pulls back from the hug, looking at Ginko in concern.]

Why? Because you deserve to be hated when all you do is try and help others?

[Ginko still doesn't look at Psi. He keeps staring past the open door, at the ground outside.]

...No. Not exactly.

I don't want to be hated. I... [Another not-laugh.] I don't think I deserve to be.

But I'm not... removed from this. This is a part of me, no matter what. I brought it with me, and there's no point to ignoring that.

[His hands are on Ginko's shoulders as he looks at him. It doesn't matter if Ginko can't meet his gaze.]

You're right. It's part of you.

But it's not a bad part of you.

[Not a bad part of him. Ha.]

People have been hurt because of this. They are getting hurt.

If you don't blame the mushi for trying to live how can you blame yourself for doing the same thing.

It's because of you're experience that you've been able to help so many people.

I don't--

[He's about to say he doesn't blame himself, but he doubts anyone would believe that at this point.]

...It's all I can do. Just... try to make up for what I've brought with me.

Ginko...

[The worst part is, he doesn't know what to say to something like that. He doesn't know what argument he can give to make Ginko believe him. Even if Ginko was awkward as hell the first time, Psi hugs him again, holding him tight. He wishes there was something more he could do. How could he not have realized that Ginko would feel like this, and he'd been ignoring him all this time. But Ginko didn't want to confide in him, right?]

Thank you.

[Ginko's shoulders hunch, and he raises a hand slightly, making a brief effort to figure out what he's supposed to be doing with his arms right now. He gives up after a moment.]

...For what?

[What has he done that's worth being thanked for?]

For telling me how you feel.

[The hug train just ain't stopping]

You don't have anything to make up for.

[He knows it's not as easy as just saying it and having Ginko believe it, but at least he could hear it from someone.]

Ha. Sure I don't.

[Telling him how he feels, huh.

...This might be a stretch. And if he's wrong, he's going to be more humiliated than he already was. But.]

I... heard what you said to Tanyuu on the radio. About... moirallegiance. And relying on people.

Does... whatever it was that I did wrong, did it have anything to do with that?

Edited (the Final Edit i promise) 2017-04-30 19:47 (UTC)

[He pulls back suddenly, face turning a furious shade of magenta. He doesn't really know how to respond to that. The reason he was mad... It did have a lot to do with moirallegiance, but it was just common knowledge too. Wasn't it common knowledge? Suddenly he isn't so sure, and he sort of deflates as realization hits him.]

You don't know, do you?

[He's rapidly beginning to feel like the biggest jerk in the entire fucking carnival.]

...No? I... should I?

[Had Psi thought he did? Ginko's tail twitches back and forth. Was he supposed to know why already?]

[He'd messed up. Badly. He slumps over. There's no good way to explain this, but knowing there's no way to not explain it either. He takes a breath, not sure where to start, but knowing he has to begin.]

I've... Had a crush on you. For a while.

I know you're human, but I thought at least we were friends.

[He exhales, it's shaky. As he remembers their conversation from before, he's reminded of his own feelings of regret and despair during that moment as well. It's hard to fight through them.]

I told you a lot, more than I've told anyone... But you just said to worry about myself.

[He's just rambling, not even explaining anything, but how can he explain something he thought anyone could understand.]

I don't want to rely on you for everything and give nothing in return. I don't want to worry about just myself. I can't.

[He knew. He'd tried for sweeps before he'd meet the Signless.]

I don't have... Any concept of a relationship like that. Even a friendship. It doesn't make sense to me.

[...Okay. Okay just that first sentence is one hell of a bomb to drop. But before he can really... take that in, let alone respond, Psi keeps going.

Ginko's ears swivel down and back, slowly, until they're practically pressed against the sides of his head.]

...We are friends. Or were, at least. I don't know if you... [He shakes his head hurriedly, pushing his fingers through his hair. Focus on the topic at hand.]

I'm fine with focusing on helping other people, I don't expect them to feel like they have to take on my problems. I don't... want them to.

I didn't... I didn't realize that would hurt you so much. I'm sorry.

[How did he screw this up so badly? Without even noticing?]

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He had to leave the popcorn party for this.

ginko isn't responsible for your actions dangit >:I

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