Public channel | D22

[hippocarnival]

Hey, everyone.

[There's a pause, like he's waiting to be sure enough people are listening before he continues. He wants to reach as much of the carnival as possible.] I spoke to Noa, and she explained a little bit more about the Void and the Harbingers to me.

She said she thinks the carnival members can still be saved. I think so, too. The Void makes them think there's nothing worth living for, but we know them and we know that's not true. If we can show them that whay they cared about before still matters, what was to their souls can be purified and the Void won't have them anymore. We think CY-Ren can be saved, too.

I... don't know exactly how to do that. But everyone taken, they have friends here, don't they? If we work together, we can find a way. Maybe we can share what made them happy, what might remind them of who they are or--or how to talk to them? [His voice wavers a little, but not out of lack of confidence in his plan.]

I know they can be reached. It won't be easy, but... I think we should try. I think it's better than just fighting them.

((TREAT THIS AS A MINGLE threadjack each other, this is an open forum of friendship.))

Comments

[criticallyfucked]

But it's still her Spark.

[It has meaning.

He shouldn't have to explain this. It's the same thing, everywhere, anywhere, he's always known; it's the same, the rules are the same, the universe, the multiverse, Creation, the Void.

The Void.

Even to someone like Yuya, is it not obvious--]

You really don't understand anything, do you? The power to destroy the world and the power to save it are the same. Her music means something--otherwise it would have no power. If it makes her sad, then good.

[hippocarnival]

I get that, but she has to want it to matter. If all she cared about was what people thought of her music, then she didn't have to change it! But... that music didn't feel right to her. What's the point if she can't connect to it, because what she wanted them to care about was what really came from her heart?

[What's the point of coming back from the brink if it's not for something that makes you happy? Yuya's heard Steven, and Yugo, and he remembers... sadness and pain can't save someone who gave up. Who gave in.]

[npcarnival]

Actually...

[ Noa has been sitting quietly listening to this, but she'll borrow the radio from Yuya again just to be able to share her thoughts with both of them. ]

In an interview, she said that she changed her music because she wanted something that belonged to her, that she didn't believe it was hers. [ She pauses, trying to sort her thoughts out. It's fresh in her memory, because she's just seen CY-Ren's performances -- new and old -- not too long ago. ]

But ... I thought that was an odd thing to say. [ She pauses. ] Even if she says it didn't feel like it belonged to her, she seemed happier then. Like her music did come from her heart.

[hippocarnival]

I don't think she was lying about it. [That's kind of a weird thing to lie about--and a really weird context.] But if she was happy with it, why change? There must have been something that drove her away from it...

[npcarnival]

[ Noa’s quiet for a bit, thinking. Its enough time for the conversation with Foster, welll ... to happen, and she’ll stall her response to the question in favor of biting her lip and resting a hand on Yuya’s shoulder. ]

Are you all right? He, um, wasn’t like that when he came to my place...

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya looks up at her.] I... I'm fine.

[His grip on the radio tightens slightly, though he leaves it off.] I don't think those things at all.

[About not wanting to risk anything, or leaving CY-Ren miserable or dead. He's sure he doesn't, but... he still looks lost and bewildered as he says it.]

[npcarnival]

I know you don't.

[ Her gaze softens a little, but she pauses, her hand still firmly on Yuya's shoulder. ]

To be honest, I'm a little worried ... that CY-Ren and the others might react that way, too. If we try to tell them how we think they should feel. It's a little presumptuous, right? [ Noa scratches at her cheek absently. ]

I don't really know CY-Ren. I only know ... how her music makes me feel.

[hippocarnival]

I wish we could talk to her sooner. [He looks down at the radio, brow furrowed in thought.] We'll just have to ask her at the concert, right? If you can connect even over a little understanding, a lot more can follow. I want to ask what her true feelings are.

[He'd like for her know she isn't alone in them. That those matter, too.]

[npcarnival]

[ Noa hums agreement. But-- ]

We're still going to need to find a way to pay attention to us, first.

Do you know what the other Guardians can do?

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya nods. That's the hard part, isn't it? But if they remember the kind of people they are, Yuya's sure they can do it.]

Rita has a magic book, Lambert has a motorcycle, Cole can show happy memories... Yuzu made me feel stronger and hits really hard.

[He pauses and hums, trying to remember what else he heard in the radio.] 9S has lasers and someone else can heal?

[npcarnival]

[ Noa's face suggests that's not a whole lot of information to go on, Yuya! But it's a start. ]

I think if this is going to work, we need to find a way to get all our Sparks to work together somehow ... I've seen what the Harbingers have done around Wismuth.

[ And she looks a little teasing. ]

You didn't say what you can do, though.

[hippocarnival]

Oh, uh... I make bubbles. [He sounds sheepish, rubbing the back of his head.] I can make them do things like... turn into goo, or light.

[npcarnival]

Can you show me?

[ Noa waves a hand encouragingly! Don't be shy now, Yuya! ]

[hippocarnival]

I... yeah, sure. [He's a little shy, pushing off the bench and holding the wand up. He doesn't want to startle Noa, so any effects that area confrontational are already off the list of examples.

He sucks in a breath and waves it out to release a flurry of colourful bubbles. They glow like their own self contained color lights, very bright, until they pop in a shower of sparkles.]

TW: implied suicidal stuff

[criticallyfucked]

[Oh, now you've done it.]

So CY-Ren's hopelessness is acceptable to you, but mine is not?

[Did you forget the Ritual, Yuya? Did you forget what Foster is?]

CY-Ren has music, that is what matters to her. Whether or not she 'wants' it to matter is... it's nothing, already does. Otherwise it wouldn't be her Spark.

And if it matters that much, she wouldn't still be alive.

I'm not a Harbinger. She is. Because I have nothing to offer. I'm worthless! Hopeless. I have nothing, I am nothing. The Void needs no empty vessels.

[The bitterness is palpable.

But Noa's interjection gives him more to say, and he keeps going.]

If it meant nothing, she wouldn't have continued with it. If it meant nothing, she wouldn't have been a Harbinger--she would just be another worthless nothing. A worthless nobody.

Just another corpse at the end of the world.

[hippocarnival]

Of course her hopelessness isn't acceptable. [Yuya doesn't even know where he got that.] That's why I want to save her, too.

How do you want to use her classical music to convince her it isn't hopeless and everything doesn't have to end? [He punctuates it specifically, rather than point out that he never said that they shouldn't focus on her music--obviously in general it mattered to her.

He just doesn't think the idea can stop there. Even if something matters, even if it's important--sometimes the pain it causes is too much.]

[criticallyfucked]

You want me to convince someone it's not hopeless...?

[He starts to laugh--hollow, mocking laughter.]

I don't even know what that looks like.

[He knows what it doesn't look like, though, and CY-Ren's music isn't it.

But then there's Yuya. Oh no, I don't want to try because it might make her too sad. But YOU have to live, even if you have nothing left to do but suffer, even if you're nothing but miserable trash, because it makes ME sad if you don't!]

You want a happy ending, but you won't risk anything for it? Fine!

Then what would you prefer? That CY-Ren lives in misery and takes the pillar with her, or she dies in misery and takes the pillar with her?

[hippocarnival]

That's not what I said! [He doesn't even bother holding back the frustration in his voice. Or his volume.]

[criticallyfucked]

[A lot of very big changes have happened in the wiring of Foster's brain recently.

But very little of it has been as obvious as it is right this second.

Foster doesn't raise his voice at all.]

Yes.

It is.

[hippocarnival]

[The rebuff silences Yuya and throws him off. Foster's accusations aren't where Yuya's feeling lie, but they're so coldly dismissed that he can't get them out of his throat or argue. Foster doesn't ask for any clarification, or proof, and it leaves Yuya feeling vaguely unsettled.

So he doesn't. He clicks the radio off for now.]