public channel, partway through day 77

[kingsroads]

[ The radio comes on mid-conversation. Or seems to. Now what careless carnival worker could have let their thumb slip on the button today? ]

--time like the present. [ Lambert’s voice, light and mocking, is instantly recognizable. ] Don't be shy now.

I need time, [ Jonathan Strange, the other part of this conversation, responds with a little huff. ] You can't expect me to craft a perfect apology on the spot like this.

Doesn't have to be perfect. [ The witcher drawls, with exaggerated patience. ] Apologies usually start with 'I'm sorry.'

Which is only half the apology. Again, I'll need some time to decide what I'm going to actually say.

What's there to decide? [ And, for those who actually know Strange, what follows is a slightly falsetto yet uncanny impression of the magician’s snobby English accent, though it’s pitched a little whinier than the real thing. (No, it’s just as whiny as the real thing.) ]

'My name is Jonathan Strange and I'm dreadfully sorry for freezing the Carnival for a day. Won't happen again. Carry on!' See? Easy.

[ Somewhere in the background, a Haunter is laughing at Lambert’s impression. Strange, however, is VERY put out and starts to whine. Lambert has him pegged. ]

I don't sound a thing like that! Besides, you're one to talk. How many people know you're the new Nightrider?

You're right. Should have thrown in a couple of peninsulas to make it really authentic. [ There’s a pause, before he adds, like an afterthought: ] You're the first one I told.

[ You know, no big deal. Strange pauses for a moment before changing the conversation entirely. ]

Look, just give me your radio before you manage to accidentally muck it up. [ Strange is teasing, but there’s still a bit of a serious tone underneath his words. ] You didn't know what it was the last time we talked, I'm not entirely certain you know how to work it in the first place.

Little late for that.

[ There’s a pause: about as long as it takes for someone to realize a magic walkie-talkie has been on this whole time. Aaand then post ends with just the sound of a scuffle breaking loose as Strange desperately tries to grab the radio and salvage his dignity. All throughout, Haunter’s still laughing like an idiot in the background. At least the radio turns off before the Carnival’s further subjected to these two morons, though not before someone’s foot goes right through a crate and bodies hit the floor. ]

[ ooc: Lambert and Strange are idiots, news at 11. ]

Comments

[kingsroads]

[ He was doing the most comically grumpy face he could muster so yeah, it was definitely at whatever Strange was doing.

but oh yay, let's continue hating on people who aren't here, this isn't petty in the SLIGHTEST. ]

Neither of us like him all that much—which is a pity, as Norrell likes him a great deal.

[atouts]

[ And here's Childermass not contributing to this part of the conversation except for some vague hrm noise. Maybe agreement, maybe just nothing at all. Yeah, he has a lot of thoughts on that all and he's not planning on sharing them. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Since Childermass isn't speaking up, Lambert's going to just directly grill Strange like he's not there. ]

Thought you didn't much like Norrell, either. He another one of those 'does magic but wouldn't call him a magician' types? What'd he do, take a piss in your breakfasts?

[kingsroads]

He simply doesn't explore magic the way he should. Norrell's content to keep things the way they are, not push the boundaries or explore what magic can truly do. He used to always lecture me about the simple idea of bringing faeries back into English magic...which now I see the value of, obviously.

[ Strange knows that snowmageddon sucked, but he also knows it could have gone SO MUCH WORSE. ]

[atouts]

[ There is so much he could say about English magic and bringing faeries back, but... nah. Let's not. Something Lambert had said just before does catch his attention, though. ]

Another one of those 'does magic but wouldn't call him a magician' types? Who else is there?

[ Segundus? No. Strange hadn't been around for when Mr. Segundus finally used actual magic. Vinculus? Someone at the carnival? ]

[whattaprick]

If you're poking around with magic, at least try not to end the world while you're at it.

[ To Childermass's question, though: ]

Who do you think? You, for one.

[ You can just picture him shrugging (well, Strange doesn't have to, since he's right there). They both keep yapping about two magicians this, two magicians that -- fine, two magicians, but he thinks the whole thing's stupid and arbitrary. ]

You really need a better word for that.

[kingsroads]

And Lambert's another. Witcher magic seems to be an entirely different breed than English magic.

[ And Strange has been the victim of a few of Lambert's spells now and then. That magic circle sucks, buddy. ]

[atouts]

[ There's a moment of silence from Childermass's end of the conversation, a little longer than usual, but then he ends it with, ]

Ah. Of course. [ So much for that chat prior to Strange running off to go crazy, but, as ever, he just takes it in stride and turns the topic completely away from magic. ] Congratulations, by the way, on the Nightrider position, Lambert. I am sure you will get us all killed in short order.

[ ...okay, maybe not entirely in stride. Just a little more pointed all of the sudden. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Oh, he notices that pause, but without being able to see the magician's face (or even if he could, come to think of it, Childermass doesn't give much away) there's not much he can do to deduce which part of the previous conversation caused it. ]

It'll be hard to top hell, but I'm sure I'll come up with something eventually.

[kingsroads]

Do give us fair warning before you come up with that something? Obviously, a few of us can't afford to be killed.

[ something something time lines. ]

[atouts]

Even better, try not to take your only magician with you when you go to do that something. England actually needs him in one piece still.

[whattaprick]

I don't make promises I can't keep.

[ Trying to stop a magician who can hop through reflective surfaces from sticking his nose everywhere? Impossible. But he might as well get more manpower out of it. ]

If you're that worried, why don't you come along?

[kingsroads]

[ He knows that he's got to go back home to do whatever he has to do but yeah that statement about England needing Strange isn't helping his arrogance in the SLIGHTEST. ]

He did come to hell, after all. I've a feeling that even if I wanted to, I couldn't fully shake my shadow.

[ or, at least, he couldn't shake Childermass for long. Strange was many things but none of them were 'subtle' or 'good at being under the radar.' ]

[atouts]

[ someone just shove Strange into the sea or something already, please ]

Not much of a choice that time, was there? [ In his own opinion, anyway. ] You didn't exactly have an army on your side.

[whattaprick]

[ that would require the world to actually give a shit what Childermass wants, so ... ]

How long has he been following you around, anyway? [ Like Childermass isn't right here, something which Lambert also apparently doesn't give a shit about. ]

Former mentor's servant to your personal bodyguard seems like a big jump to make.

[kingsroads]

[ excuse you, how can he do what he needs to do back home if he's drowning, huh Childermass? ]

I've a feeling he's only keeping me alive for his sake. I'm to do something back home which will benefit Childermass. I can't do it if I'm dead.

[atouts]

I don't enjoy the prospect of going home to everything having changed, that's all.

[ Okay, there's more to it than that and Strange isn't entirely wrong, but he thinks that reason is more than adequate. ]

[whattaprick]

Since there's a spell for it where you're from, Childermass could always bring you back.

[ From the cheerful tone of his voice, he knows that's a shitty, shitty idea, but that doesn't stop it being funny imagining Childermass try. ]

[kingsroads]

Absolutely not, [ said far too quickly and without any hesitation. Sorry Lambert! Looks like you've stepped into a sensitive subject! And he's definitely getting a frown that's all 'don't push this' (which just means that Lambert will push it later but public channels, bro, let's not talk about bringing back the dead where EVERYBODY CAN HEAR).

So guess what everybody, Strange is CHANGING THE CONVERSATION far away from death and back into rambling about esoteric time bullshit. ]

Anyway, Childermass is right. Just by being here, I could have already drastically changed my future, Childermass's present. Alternatively, Childermass's present is only because I know what happens in my future to begin with. Did time account for both of our contracts or not? I can't think of any way we'd be able to test what actually happens, short of me returning home, coming back here, and the two of us comparing histories, something which I doubt will happen as when I leave the carnival, I don't plan on returning.

[ tl;dr, who friggen knows ]

[atouts]

That's more than anyone really needed to know, Mr. Strange.

[ Look, he tries not to get into the entire past-present-future problem where things might change or might not change or who the fuck knows. It's troubling enough just between the two of them, so why spread the headache around?

Though he doesn't comment on the "bringing back from the dead" part, either.

That much he can side with Strange on. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Magic bullshit is super effective, since Lambert's exquisitely uninterested in sorting out the logistics of time travel and is happy to leave it to crazy people who actually like to think about that, like Strange. ]

No idea. Could try asking the people who've been back home how it worked out for them. [ You can bet he's pushing Strange about all that dead people stuff later, but for now ... he'll pause, flicking mentally through memories from being mildly intoxicated until he finds the one he was looking for. ]

Nothing in your Raven King's stories about that?

[kingsroads]

[ If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. Or, at least, yammer on about nonsense until people tell you to shut up or you've distracted them from what they were talking about in the first place. ]

It's fun to think about these sorts of things, [ Strange simply chimes in, as explanation enough for his ramblings. As for Lambert's question... ] The Raven King didn't write the stories himself, you know. They were written about him.

[ duuuuuuuuh. ] But no, most of the stories about faerie in our world just involve one person. A person who's been there for an hour only to leave and ten years have passed, things like that. I can't think of any that explicitly parallel our situation.

[atouts]

Something we'll hopefully avoid through the Ringmaster's contract. [ He won't be too happy to find himself arriving back where he started in England, only ten, twenty, or a hundred years later. ] Though how much help asking around would be...

[ He shrugs, though no one can see that. ]

I do not know of anyone else having timeline troubles.

[whattaprick]

Stories that get passed around for so long tend to have a grain of truth under all the bullshit. We've got stories like that about the Wild Hunt. Turns out they're just a bunch of assholes who like kidnapping people for fun ... and messing with their memories, while they're at it.

[ And a big ol' shrug from him too. ]

Ask the skeletons. One of them mentioned a time loop. [ At this point, Lambert hasn't quite had the conversation that sheds much more light (or further muddies the waters, depending on your perspective) on that particular situation. ]

[kingsroads]

That does make sense. I've talked about time magic with Sans, though I don't think we've talked in particular about a time loop.

[ so obviously time to bug the skeleton again. ]

I wonder though if their timeline nonsense is purposeful or accidental. After all, if it's accidental then they might be just as confused as we are.