public channel, partway through day 77

[kingsroads]

[ The radio comes on mid-conversation. Or seems to. Now what careless carnival worker could have let their thumb slip on the button today? ]

--time like the present. [ Lambert’s voice, light and mocking, is instantly recognizable. ] Don't be shy now.

I need time, [ Jonathan Strange, the other part of this conversation, responds with a little huff. ] You can't expect me to craft a perfect apology on the spot like this.

Doesn't have to be perfect. [ The witcher drawls, with exaggerated patience. ] Apologies usually start with 'I'm sorry.'

Which is only half the apology. Again, I'll need some time to decide what I'm going to actually say.

What's there to decide? [ And, for those who actually know Strange, what follows is a slightly falsetto yet uncanny impression of the magician’s snobby English accent, though it’s pitched a little whinier than the real thing. (No, it’s just as whiny as the real thing.) ]

'My name is Jonathan Strange and I'm dreadfully sorry for freezing the Carnival for a day. Won't happen again. Carry on!' See? Easy.

[ Somewhere in the background, a Haunter is laughing at Lambert’s impression. Strange, however, is VERY put out and starts to whine. Lambert has him pegged. ]

I don't sound a thing like that! Besides, you're one to talk. How many people know you're the new Nightrider?

You're right. Should have thrown in a couple of peninsulas to make it really authentic. [ There’s a pause, before he adds, like an afterthought: ] You're the first one I told.

[ You know, no big deal. Strange pauses for a moment before changing the conversation entirely. ]

Look, just give me your radio before you manage to accidentally muck it up. [ Strange is teasing, but there’s still a bit of a serious tone underneath his words. ] You didn't know what it was the last time we talked, I'm not entirely certain you know how to work it in the first place.

Little late for that.

[ There’s a pause: about as long as it takes for someone to realize a magic walkie-talkie has been on this whole time. Aaand then post ends with just the sound of a scuffle breaking loose as Strange desperately tries to grab the radio and salvage his dignity. All throughout, Haunter’s still laughing like an idiot in the background. At least the radio turns off before the Carnival’s further subjected to these two morons, though not before someone’s foot goes right through a crate and bodies hit the floor. ]

[ ooc: Lambert and Strange are idiots, news at 11. ]

Comments

[osteothropy]

Grats.

[Sans chimes in blandly sometime in the middle of the fight. GOOD ENOUGH.]

[kingsroads]

[ time is confusing and threads are ongoing and eventually Strange chimes in with a simple yet serious, ]

I really am sorry, you know.

[osteothropy]

Hey, man. I didn't have to clean it up, so it's not my problem.

[kingsroads]

Still, I have a feeling the Warden wouldn't enjoy anyone messing up the Carnival in the first place.

[whattaprick]

[ He could say 'thanks' or 'I'll try not to fuck it up,' or 'I'm sorry if she was your friend,' because he knows -- him taking over is basically an admission she's never coming back. But because it's Lambert, he says none of those things, and instead goes directly for: ]

Don't expect a party or anything.

[osteothropy]

It's cool. We already had a party. You weren't invited.

[But really, there could be worse Nightriders out there.]

[whattaprick]

[ You mean like the other idiot in this video??? ]

Damn. I'm heartbroken. Just going to have to go on a wild bender to get over it.

[dorkypantsuit]

[He knows they need a new nightrider... But to replace her so quickly... Probably best not to say anything about it.]

What other impressions can you do?

[whattaprick]

[ In some ways, at least having this sort of an introduction lends itself well to avoiding the thorny subject of succession and who he's replacing. Anything that required Lambert to actually address it directly, well... then he'd have to treat it seriously.

So his tone, when he eventually responds, is light enough. ]

Just about anybody, as long as I've known them long enough.

[dorkypantsuit]

Do me!

[whattaprick]

You sure you want me to?

[dorkypantsuit]

Why not? It sounds funny.

[empty_vessel]

[ Jimmy makes it to Lambert's impression of Strange before he starts snickering, and Strange's offended response has him laughing, not realizing that his mic is live.

The actual scuffle gets more laughter and an actual snort out of him before Sweet Pea starts barking in the background.]

[kingsroads]

You'll only encourage him.

[ says the person who's usually the leading cause of encouraging Lambert in the first place. ]

[empty_vessel]

At least you're not writing 'I will not freeze tropical islands' fifty times on the chalkboard?

[ And Jimmy would like to apologize if he's giving Lambert ideas. Once he stops laughing.]

If it's any consolation, you're the talk of Alola. Because nobody can figure out what the hell is going on.

[kingsroads]

In that case, be certain to tell them that the Carnival got off much worse than Alola. It'll drum up business and remind them of how lucky they are!

[amusicaladventure]

I'm just saying that right now there's fanfiction being written about what's going on over there that we can't see, only hear, and it needs to be tagged appropriately and walled away from minors.

[kingsroads]

[ Strange has no goddamn clue what fanfiction is so that joke goes RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD. Sorry Ash. ]

What happened was I tried to get the radio away from him while Lambert tripped over his own tail. [ pause ] He has a tail now, by the way, I'm not sure he's told anyone yet.

[amusicaladventure]

[Honestly, she's counting on that failure to share terms. It makes the amusement that much richer.]

Oh, you were checking out his tail? Wow.

[whattaprick]

[ Chiming in because he's a shitlord: ]

With compliments and everything! If I knew that's what it took to get his attention...

[atouts]

A couple would have been overdoing it. You only need to reference the peninsula once every few sentences, not several times in one.

[ Look, there's a lot of things he could say here, but he's just going to settle the lowest hanging fruit for now. It's a tropical island, he's on vacation, no need to try harder than that. ]

[kingsroads]

I don't mention the peninsula that much.

[ this is a goddamn lie. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Immediately, from off to the side-- ]

Yes you do.

[atouts]

[ It must be stereo in here because guess what Childermass is saying at the same time Lambert does? That's right, it's— ]

Yes, you do.

[kingsroads]

[ callout post for Jonathan Strange: doesn't brush his hair, straight up bonkers, won't shut up about the peninsula. ]

Thank you both for your valued input. [ said through gritted teeth and a glaaaaare. ]