public channel, partway through day 77

[kingsroads]

[ The radio comes on mid-conversation. Or seems to. Now what careless carnival worker could have let their thumb slip on the button today? ]

--time like the present. [ Lambert’s voice, light and mocking, is instantly recognizable. ] Don't be shy now.

I need time, [ Jonathan Strange, the other part of this conversation, responds with a little huff. ] You can't expect me to craft a perfect apology on the spot like this.

Doesn't have to be perfect. [ The witcher drawls, with exaggerated patience. ] Apologies usually start with 'I'm sorry.'

Which is only half the apology. Again, I'll need some time to decide what I'm going to actually say.

What's there to decide? [ And, for those who actually know Strange, what follows is a slightly falsetto yet uncanny impression of the magician’s snobby English accent, though it’s pitched a little whinier than the real thing. (No, it’s just as whiny as the real thing.) ]

'My name is Jonathan Strange and I'm dreadfully sorry for freezing the Carnival for a day. Won't happen again. Carry on!' See? Easy.

[ Somewhere in the background, a Haunter is laughing at Lambert’s impression. Strange, however, is VERY put out and starts to whine. Lambert has him pegged. ]

I don't sound a thing like that! Besides, you're one to talk. How many people know you're the new Nightrider?

You're right. Should have thrown in a couple of peninsulas to make it really authentic. [ There’s a pause, before he adds, like an afterthought: ] You're the first one I told.

[ You know, no big deal. Strange pauses for a moment before changing the conversation entirely. ]

Look, just give me your radio before you manage to accidentally muck it up. [ Strange is teasing, but there’s still a bit of a serious tone underneath his words. ] You didn't know what it was the last time we talked, I'm not entirely certain you know how to work it in the first place.

Little late for that.

[ There’s a pause: about as long as it takes for someone to realize a magic walkie-talkie has been on this whole time. Aaand then post ends with just the sound of a scuffle breaking loose as Strange desperately tries to grab the radio and salvage his dignity. All throughout, Haunter’s still laughing like an idiot in the background. At least the radio turns off before the Carnival’s further subjected to these two morons, though not before someone’s foot goes right through a crate and bodies hit the floor. ]

[ ooc: Lambert and Strange are idiots, news at 11. ]

Comments

[kingsroads]

I did apologize for that, you know, you don't have to keep bringing it up.

[ Childermass is gonna keep bringing up 'hey remember that time you practically set me on fire' until the day Strange dies ]

[whattaprick]

[ With undisguised interest: ]

What'd you burn down?

[kingsroads]

Nothing! Nothing got burnt down.

[ but Captain No Poker Face definitely sounds guilty with that statement. nothing may have gotten burned down but something definitely happened. ]

[atouts]

Only my shirt.

[ And only a little on fire, so... does that even count as burnt down? ]

[whattaprick]

[ He whistles. ]

So that's how to get you out of your clothes.

[kingsroads]

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, don't set anyone on fire.

[atouts]

[ Why does he talk to either of you idiots again...? ]

Or at the very least, don't set me on fire. I've already gone through far too many shirts here as it is.

[whattaprick]

[ Because unlike dogs, magicians and witchers can't simply be put in crates for a time-out. ]

I promise to only set Childermass and other workers on fire if Strange freezes them first. [ Because then setting them on fire would be practical... probably. ]

Can't promise not to ever set anyone on fire, though. [ Some people probably deserve it. Like evil demonic vampires. ]

[kingsroads]

I already apologized for winter, you don't need to keep bringing it up.

[ said with the full knowledge that certain people are gonna be bringing it up as long as he lives. ]

[atouts]

I would like to go on record I would still prefer not being set on fire, even if he does freeze the carnival a second time.

[ yeah, strange, you're doomed. ]

[whattaprick]

Consider your opinion noted.

[ not that it's going to make a difference to lambert. he won't deliberately set childermass on fire, but he probably won't much care if he accidentally does. ]

And if I remember right, I apologized for you, Strange.

[kingsroads]

In that case, I'm terribly sorry for having frozen the Carnival for a day.

There you go.

[ ha, suck it, he actually apologized. Turns out the thing that can spur Strange to actually apologizing is...sheer pettiness. ]

[atouts]

That didn't sound very sincere, Mr. Strange.

[ petty apologies really don't count. ]

[whattaprick]

Come on, Childermass. Doesn't he get points for trying?

[ He's trying his best to manage a deadpan; Strange who's actually with him knows he's grinning like a shit. ]

[kingsroads]

[ petty apologies do so count. Lambert is just getting a GLARE from Strange because oh my god, why are you people being jerks to him, he certainly does not deserve it (he 100% deserves it). ]

I'm not entirely sure what both of you are trying to achieve by conspiring against me like this, but I doubt it will work.

[atouts]

[ It's a shame there's no way to convey a shrug across a radio. ]

Conspiring against you? If that's what you call it, you should reconsider who you keep company with these days.

[ Less conspiracy, more making fun of. It's a thing. Friends do it. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Friends -- that's still a word Lambert would hesitate to use, but he doesn't mind it, the easy banter and place he's found here. If you told him he'd be jesting with magicians so casually just a month ago, he'd have laughed himself sick. ]

Damn, he's on to us. Can't get anything past you, huh?

[kingsroads]

That's certainly what I'm calling it, considering the two of you are conspiring to make me look like an idiot!

[ okay and NOW Strange just breaks a little, relenting from the teasing on both ends as a little laugh creeps into his voice. ]

And I already know what at least one of you will say in response to that. [ And then, in a terrible impression of Lambert, ] 'Mister Strange, you don't need our help to look like an idiot.'

[ it really can't be overstated just how awful an impression it is. Literally the only reason why they can tell it's Lambert and not Childermass is there's no trace of a Northern accent in the impression ]

[atouts]

Was that the best you could do? [ Okay, Strange, he'll mock you for something else entirely then. ] If that was meant to be Lambert, you should have gone with Master Strange. Did he at least bow sarcastically?

[whattaprick]

[ Lambert is straight up just stopping to laugh, long and delighted. When he finally recovers his voice: ]

Now I'd like to see you try Childermass. [ Because honestly, hilarious. ]

[kingsroads]

[ yeah, you know how these two idiots and Childermass ended up with Strange egging Lambert on to bad decisions in the medical tent? now these two idiots and Childermass is going to end up with Lambert egging Strange on to bad decisions right now. ]

The problem with that is that this is a radio! I can't do a proper Childermass glower over the radio.

[atouts]

You could always just shrug and leave it at that.

[ The most cheater way of doing a Childermass impression. ]

[whattaprick]

Can't hear a shrug over the radio, either.

Go on, let's have it.

[kingsroads]

[ Turns out that he's better at Childermass than he is at Lambert. Strange at least gets across a Northern accent. However, Strange is to Northern accents what Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins is to Cockney: recognizable, but REALLY OVER THE TOP. At least the voice is pitched somewhere in the vicinity of Childermass's gravelly tones. ]

Your opinion, Mister Lascelles, is noted and immediately discarded in favor of a better one.

[ It's dry, but a little too sarcastic for Childermass's normal brand of grump And hey, even if the impression is ten shades of terrible (which it is!) he's certain Childermass will get a little bit of enjoyment out of them shit-talking Lascelles.

And, in his normal voice, he pipes in with, ] Better?

[atouts]

[ Yeah, so gestures really can't be heard over the radio, but there's no way those two aren't imagining Childermass rolling his eyes right now. ]

A few too many words if you're imagining me speaking to that gentleman [ and he uses that term more like an insult than anything else. ] in particular, actually.

[ sorry, Strange, he's still going to nitpick, like, sure it was better, but still. ]