intro | day 104

[tacosgay]

Listen.

[The voice that comes over the public channel is... odd, and new to most folks here. He pauses for a bit, as if that's the entire thought-- but, sure enough, he follows it with an obviously annoyed question.]

So we're just kind of... here, because they say so? Like... this can't be legal, can it? Has anybody tried talking to the fuckin' police about this?

[As he speaks, he gets increasingly irritated, his voice breaking.]

I'm gonna be real with you guys: I've got half a mind to just kinda magic my way out, except I'm pretty sure the Ringleader or whatever would come after me. Is that a thing?

Comments

[tacosgay]

Not the best. But I guess there are worse things, huh? Plus, I'm apparently pretty bad at staying dead, so I've got that going for me.

[small_reservations]

I've got a bit of a bad track record for it myself, but then again it's only happened once.

[So far.]

[tacosgay]

Hey, once is all it takes, for most people. Sounds like you and me are just lucky, then, huh?

[small_reservations]

Heh, yeah...

[His laugh isn't very sincere, though.]

[tacosgay]

...

[Taako acts pretty obtuse sometimes, but he definitely picks up on that. There's a pause.]

So, hey, mind if I ask how you skipped the whole... death being permanent thing? I'll share my secrets if you share yours.

[small_reservations]

Nah, I guess not.

[Now how to explain this...]

My world... Well, worlds, really. They have a problem, a kind of invasion, from creatures called the heartless. When they attack you, they rip out your heart, or soul, I guess, and you die. Except sometimes people don't. They dissipate and reform elsewhere, without hearts. Without emotions. We call ourselves Nobodies.

[tacosgay]

[... something about that-- the description of an invasion-- it's just a flash, just for a second, but he almost says it's familiar.

And then it's gone, and he has no idea why he would say something like that. He'd fuckin' know if anything had been invading his world.]

... no emotions, huh? That's, uh... I mean, that's gotta be rough, right? Unless it's not, since you don't... have the emotions to feel shitty over it. Is that how that works?

[small_reservations]

Still miss 'em. Remember having them, after all.

[It's not exactly an emotion.]

[tacosgay]

Oh, yeah, hah... I guess that would be weird.

[Not that Taako is the most... emotionally in touch person in the world.]

Mine is, uh... it's kinda complicated. There was time travel involved, kind of? We kept dying, and every time we'd die, the same hour would start all over again, and play out until we died again. We finally got it right and stopped it, but, I gotta say, it wasn't the most fun mission we've ever had, that's for sure.

[small_reservations]

... That really sucks. What did you need to do?

[tacosgay]

... oh, right... I can actually tell you. See, normally, I'd have to make something up, since I'm not technically supposed to talk about this stuff, and, back home, I would be literally unable to tell you anyway. But I'm pretty sure you'd forget it if you ever got to my world anyway, so, hey. Anything goes here, apparently.

It's also kind of complicated, though... you sure you've got time for this story, my man?

[small_reservations]

I'm walking patrol in the forest. I've got all the time in the world.

[tacosgay]

Well, in that case, alright.

The short version is, uh... there was this cup, a "chalice," that could control time, sort of. My associates and I were sent in to retrieve it, because if that thing got into the wrong hands, it would be bad news bears for everyone.

That's... kinda what we do, back home. We go out and get these powerful magical items, and then blow them up back at our moonbase so nobody else can use 'em.

[small_reservations]

Why is it always the moon with these mysterious organizations? Sounds better than my last job, anyway.

This one's pretty awful too, sometimes, though... And I'm pretty sure the Ringmaster's gonna screw me over once I finish the rest of this contract. So there's that.

[tacosgay]

Well, it's not a real moon, so that helps. It's just a pretend moon, you see.

Oh, no, she is definitely gonna fuck us all over as soon as possible, I know that for a fact. Mysterious fae running some kinda extradimensional carnival? Uh-uh, don't trust it. But we don't have a whole lot of choice but to go along with her for now, apparently.

[small_reservations]

Ours was kinda pretend too. Weird.

I think she listens in, by the way. I also think she's probably amused more than anything by this whole conversation.

[tacosgay]

Yeah, see, I don't give a shit. Like, she can laugh it up. What am I gonna do, tell her to stop it? Because I doubt she'll listen.

[small_reservations]

Well, it IS her pocket dimension.

[tacosgay]

Yeah, well, I've got my own pocket dimension, so she can bite me. And mine is way better, because nobody there makes me work for a crazy fae who wants to fuck with my body.

[small_reservations]

[Axel laughs. The amusement may be faked, but it's a decent imitation.]

You selling memberships?

[tacosgay]

You're welcome anytime for free, my man. The pocket spa welcomes all visitors.

[small_reservations]

Pocket spa, huh? Is that a euphemism or literal?

[tacosgay]

Which would you prefer?

... I mean, it is a literal pocket spa, but, you know.

[small_reservations]

Hah! Yeah, that does sound pretty sweet.

[He specifically doesn't answer what he'd prefer, though.]

[tacosgay]

You should swing by my trailer sometime and I'll show you how it works.