Foster van Denend (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
criticallyfucked) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
limacharlie2017-12-29 03:32 am
criticallyfucked) wrote in limacharlie2017-12-29 03:32 am
Entry tags:
Public Channel B20 [CW: General Fosterness]
Hahaha... uh. I don't usually ask for things, but I know swords aren't uncommon here... is there anyone willing and able to teach them?
I'll warn you I'm very stupid, so you'll probably have to beat it into me, but I'll repay your time!
I'll do anything you want... except die.
If that's what you want, you'll have to do it yourself! So don't ask.
I'll warn you I'm very stupid, so you'll probably have to beat it into me, but I'll repay your time!
I'll do anything you want... except die.
If that's what you want, you'll have to do it yourself! So don't ask.
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Ha ha, Carly.When Zangetsu gets to the training grounds, he'll find Foster already there; he's looking a lot less bipedal than he used to, though, and the sword he has isn't much better.
He's actually lying down, front legs folded under and his back legs tucked out to one side.
He doesn't get up when he spots Zangetsu, but he raises one long furry arm and waves brightly.]
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Yeah, that's a much better look there, necromancer. [he walks up close, then holds out his hand] Let me see that thing.
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Foster reaches for the sword, and gets as far as actually picking it up before realising (to his mixed confusion and annoyance) that there is, in fact, no good way to hand someone a sword.
Or if there is, he's too stupid to figure it out.
So he falters, then glances sideways at Zangetsu before giving up and just stabbing the sword directly into the dirt, burying the blade enough that it stands up on its own.
That's just going to have to do.
He unfolds his front legs, rising off the ground himself--
Turns out that at his full height, he's now about nine feet tall--or six foot seven at the (horse) shoulder.]
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... kind of silly and cute
In it's own disgusting way. No one besides Zangetsu could probably appreciate it.
As for handing over a sword, the easiest way is to sort of dangle it by the end of the pommel and let the other person grab it by the hilt. But hey, that works too.
Zangetsu takes the sword and examines it with a careful and critical eye. He runs his finger over the edges, testing their sharpness. He takes a few swings with it, testing the weight and balance, his motions fluid and almost elegant.
Then, he quickly discovers the scissor-like mechanism, which makes him smile. He then embeds the blade back in the dirt]
It's nice. Constructed well. Double-edged, different than what I'm used to, but nothing I can't work with. The spring mechanism is... interesting. Not sure what good it'll do ya, but I'll have to play with it a bit to figure it out. You... don't get it back for a while. Basics, horse-butt. Basics. That thing is more of a European style blade, but I know more Japanese style -- kendo. So that's what you're learnin'.
[from the stack of Various Garbage he brought with him, Zangetsu grabs two kendo shinai and tosses one up to Foster.
Think fast, mushroom bear]
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Unluckily, Zangetsu is about to get his first lesson in how fast Foster isn't.
In fairness, Foster doesn't miss.
He just... doesn't really catch the shinai, either. His claws are... they're not...
...he makes an attempt, but manages to fumble it badly enough that he smacks himself in the face with it before he actually drops it.
He doesn't look even remotely embarrassed, just kind of disgusted with himself.]
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He picks up the shinai and hands it to Foster instead.]
Well. At least your reflexes are good?
[he takes a flash-step back, vanishing from sight for a split second and returning to view about 6 feet away from Foster, shinai in hand]
Dominant hand goes right under the guard, on top. Your other hand goes underneath that. I'm ambidextrous, but I like ta use my right hand more. So. Right hand under the guard. Left below it. That's how you hold a sword. Do it.
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Good?
[Basically anything Zangetsu has to say to him after that is lost, because that frown that is turning into a big, ingratiating, obsequious smile.]
You call that good? That was disgusting. Deplorable. I'm a disgrace, a--
[He actually doesn't take the sword Zangetsu is trying to hand him until he's well into it, and then Zangetsu is several feet back and he stops ranting because that's... enough of a surprise to interrupt him.]
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Self-deprecating? ]
Ya done flappin' yer lips, horse butt?
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He's already forgotten which hand goes on top.]
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Dominant hand. On top. Under the guard. Stay focused.
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Why does everyone keep telling him that? First Lambert, now this guy... is he not focused to them? What do they think he's going to do?
He doesn't complain out loud, but he does spend several seconds trying to identify his dominant hand--shifting his paws up and down the sword's shaft until he has something he thinks might be right. He continues frowning at it, but--
Yeah, this will have to do.]
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Once Foster seems to have his grip how he wants it, Zangetsu... well. He straight up charges him, aiming low. With his new form, Foster is quite vulnerable down there... and he needs to know that.
So, if he doesn't move quickly, he's going to whapped hard with the bamboo sword across his horse foreleg carpi]
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The bad news is, he doesn't use the sword to react. Instead, purely by reflex, he acts on what is possibly the most Foster instinct possible--
He rushes in.
Bodily, fully engaged, his humanoid upper body leaning in and down, his equine legs kicking off like he's trying to impale himself on Zangetsu's sword.
Which... is basically what he'd be doing, if this were a real sword.
And he weren't a horse.
As a horse, though--
It's almost a viable strategy?]
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HahahahaHAHA! I like that gall! Check out the balls on this guy. But you... You have a huge body. You either need armor, or learn to use two swords. Then again... you charge a normal person like that and they might just freak the fuck out.
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But Foster mostly... looks surprised?
Foster looks surprised, because no one has ever commended him for doing the kind of thing that comes naturally--the kind of thing that is, by every metric stupid and impulsive and suicidal and designed to hurt him rather than the (un)natural opposite.
So he looks surprised, and then he laughs.
Not only is that the most unnatural praise he's ever received--praised? for being himself? for doing THAT?--but the idea of him benefiting from it? Of--
Well, the armour isn't going to happen, that's for sure.]
Let's say that was the intention.
[Maybe it even was.]
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Keheheheh! Now... The problem is... you don't heal unnaturally fast, do you? Berserkin' is a great tactic, but if you break yourself to pieces in the process, ya ain't gonna last long.
I'm so, so sorry. Depression got me, then Plot got me...
Oh, that's not... haha. Who cares! That was never a possibility--I was never, haha, never built to last. Dying soon--dying now, dying later, it's all the same!
[He chokes, stutters on his own laughter, a wet string of drool from his bottom lip, but his focus is clear, his shoulders back and eyes bright. One foreleg paws at the ground, leaving a triple furrow from his hooved toes.
He sobers enough to fix Zangetsu with a... particularly intense stare, the same way a bird might, focused on one eye.]
All that matters is whether or not it works. If it breaks me, if it obliterates, if it destroys me, that's even better! I have no one else to be.