PUBLIC CHANNEL - DAY 75

[mylastchance]

I... Need help with something. But I can't be specific.


How can you help someone if you don't understand what the problem is?

Comments

[insidescoop]

Ummm...

I mean, I could ask you the same thing with what you just said you know..!!

[mylastchance]

[He literally does not understand what she's saying.]

... That's not helpful.

[insidescoop]

You just said 'how do you help someone if you don't know what the problem is'...!

Well now I'm asking you the same thing, because if you want help I can't give it until you tell me what the problem is!

[mylastchance]

The problem is that I don't know the problem!

[insidescoop]

How do you even know there's a problem then???

Are you sure you're not just too worried in that case?

[forkedroad]

What a marvelous question.

[mylastchance]

Please don't.

[forkedroad]

Don't what?

[mylastchance]

[Don't make him admit his own question is dumb.]

I know it's a stupid question.

But I don't know what else to do at this point.

[forkedroad]

Oh, no! No. I was being sincere. I do legitimately think that's a wonderful question. It's tricky, and unconventional.

I find I sometimes feel the same way. It struck a cord.

If it's a stupid thought, then I suppose we're both fools.

[spaghettimonster]

[Papyrus was about to give another helpful hotline tip, maybe with puns.... But he can't. The question is too sincere and, well. It's the question he's grappled with forever.]

I start by reminding myself... Helping someone, isn't fixing their problems for them. I don't need to understand to help. Though, it helps to help, if I do! But... The most important thing's being there for them.

Remind them of how great they are! How great they can be!! Give them an extra reason to keep going, to keep working hard!

And, if they're the sort to talk about their problems... it's worth it to ask? What the problem is? There's no better way to start to understand, than listening to them... Or already being familiar with the problem, by having it yourself!

[mylastchance]

[He's quiet a moment or two thinking that over at first.]

That's... Good advice.

But if I don't step in, this person might end up doing something they really regret.

[spaghettimonster]

Hmmm...

Yeah, they might. They might regret doing things... They might regret not doing things... There's just no knowing what will happen. The only thing you can do is doing what you can do!

You know the saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it take a bath?

[That's not the saying.]

[mylastchance]

You don't understand. This is dangerous. Someone could really get hurt.

[spaghettimonster]

Maybe... even die?

[puddingemote]

Ask them to explain.

[mylastchance]

[He sighs.]

I tried that already.

[puddingemote]

Hmph. [That's the worst. Tamaki sighs too.]

Maybe they don't trust you enough to tell you.

[mylastchance]

Maybe... I wouldn't think so, but...

[puddingemote]

Mm. Or they have to think... So you can sit with them. Or give them sweets.

[fragileandsoft]

Sometimes, the best you can offer is making sure they know you're there for them. Even if you don't understand all of what's going on with another person, it can be a big help just to know they've got someone on their side while they work through it.

[mylastchance]

Is it really a help if the person on their side can't do anything?

[He can't help being pessimistic, it's just in his nature.]

[fragileandsoft]

Well, I dunno the situation, but in my experience it's always worth it. It might not feel like much at all in the moment, but it can mean the world to the other person that they just have someone willing to listen.

[mylastchance]

Is it really listening if they don't talk?

[fragileandsoft]

If they don't want to talk, don't force them. They might change their mind later, they might not. But it'll be nice to know they have an option if they're ever up for it.