Public Channel | S2;D4

[scientificist]

This is…Herbert West: a contributor to the recent cure as you may recall as well as…your new Doctor. [He pauses to let that sink in, sounding really smug about it.] The Medical Team is still, small but as more experienced members join it has become more…evident that we do not have the resources we need to properly, treat the Carnival staff.

Namely: up to date medical documentation on you all—now, I made do before with what I had, during the process of constructing the cure but those involved may recall being asked various questions, questions which would have been unnecessary had the previous department been keeping your notes on file. Perhaps medical files aren’t required by, magical zebras but they are required by. Me. It is considerably easier for everyone when all previous knowledge doesn’t leave with the former physician—I’m sure you can agree. [He’s trying his best to sound congenial, definitely, but it mostly comes off as stilted as usual…maybe it counts that he’s trying?]

Today and tomorrow, myself and Mr Okumura will be available to perform physical examinations; any additional medical history you can provide is, welcome, and if you would prefer to attend on an alternate date, contact me to arrange a time.

[And then because so many people here are damned word weasels:] I have to insist all of you show up. Even if you’re healthy. Especially, if you’re healthy to give us an idea of your baseline state but we will, of course, treat any issues you have. Understand, it’s for the good of the Carnival and everyone’s…future well-being.


[ooc: Make sure to help me out by posting anything you think of to the med tent info post. Also, Herbert is almost literally always in the med tent during daytime hours but let us know if you have an ooc preference for checkups.]

Comments

[motivenotfound]

[She snatches it from him briskly, holds it in one monster paw while adjusting her glasses with a humanoid one.]

Date of birth? Age?

[She looks back up at him, clearly having some opinions about these questions.]

Date of birth relative to what? What age?

Is this a joke?!

[reflash]

Does your world have a system of keeping track of years? Do you know how many years you have been alive? [Look at him. He's a professional. Nothing phases him.]

Most people have some idea of how old they are, and have the sense to note if there is anything unusual with their situation.

[motivenotfound]

Yeah..... I have bad news for you, Dr. No.

Turns out that different worlds have different reckoning systems for years. And different definitions of a year. And different forms of aging, so all the ta you're going to get is totally useless!

[She's waving a couple of her hands around as she speaks--not angrily, weirdly, but like she's giving the most informal run-down of her thesis possible, possibly while seated at a bar and talking to a total stranger.]

Also, you gotta give me a pen, because I am not writng this in blood, so-rry.

[reflash]

I've met very few [read: no] aliens here. If I see an age that appears significantly different from what I expect, I can simply ask the person and made an addendum to their form.

[And then the pen question actually trips him up.

There was totally a pen on that clipboard earlier.

Did someone steal his pen?

Thankfully, it isn't one of the pens he bought on the moon, just a generic option, but it's still frustrating, and he grabs another pen for Mari out of a drawer with a quick, sharp movement.]

I can't accept forms written in blood anyway.

[motivenotfound]

[Haha! Hahahaha! Wow!]

LOL. Very few, huh?

[That seems to have... cheered her up?

She gets to work filling out the form--albeit in a very clinical manner--still chatting as she does.

Notably, some of her answers are....... misleading. For age, she writes '18,' her year of birth as 1982. For blood type, it's gay blue.

For height?

LOL]

Do you need to know how many eyes I have--? Because I actually don't know.... or, well, it's 33 on the front, but I can't see all my back, right, and I don't have a reflection any more, so it could be anything. I'll just write 33+, that'll have to do.

.... there. Done!

[She finishes and turns the clipboard back to him with a brisk finality.]

[reflash]

I doubt an illness will change the number of eyes you have without any other symptoms. [He says, taking the clipboard back from her and reading over it.

Why. Why is her blood type such a ... dumb answer?]

Your blood type is... blue?

[motivenotfound]

Oh, you can read.

[Was her handwriting sloppy? Sorry, you asked a lot of pointless questions and her hand was tired.

Honestly, what did you expect? If you have a question, ask it directly.]

[reflash]

I am a high school student. [He says, as if he doesn't known some high school students (nii-san) who are terrible at reading.]

That didn't answer my question.