[The day after the Ringmaster's public address, the public channel comes alive again, this time with the voice of Koel Babic. Her voice is quiet, but firm.]

Good morning, everyone. This is Koel Babic, your Head Cook.

Starting tomorrow, the Warden and the Ringmaster has authorized an instructor to hold weekly basic training classes, after carnival hours. All employees will be required to attend the first meeting in order for the instructor to ascertain everyone's defensive and offensive capabilities; after this first meeting, only those who do not pass a preliminary assessment will need to attend.

Oh, and the Supervisors - myself included - will be more than willing to personally escort you to the meeting, should you somehow conveniently forget to attend. I simply recommend you don't inconvenience them. Absence based on injury or illness will be accepted so long as our Doctor, Zecora, has confirmed its legitimacy, but you will be expected to attend the next meeting if that is the case.

[A brief pause.]

That is all.

[Not too long after Grandma Koel's message, Joker's voice hums out from the radios.]

This is yer stage manager speakin'~.

Now, I'm sure some of ya must be a bit nervous about the prospect of learnin' ta fight, and I hear ya. Koel's just worried about some of ya greenhorns and she'd feel better if ya knew how ta take care of yerselves. That last stop got us all shook up.

However, I know that for a lot of ya, it's bit much ta ask for, so I'm givin' ya an alternate solution. I'm still gettin' used ta the spell, but... I can make enchanted items ta help get ya out of a tight spot. Teleportation, s'what it's called, innit? They'll get ya straight ta the grove where us supervisors live, or at least that's what I'll try ta manage. Unfortunately, it'll only work while yer on carnival grounds, but it's better than nothin'.

If yer interested, just let me know~.

[507.50844: Entertainment]

...But, of course, all of ya in performance are gettin' one automatically. In case of emergency, it'll take ya right ta my trailer, where ye can hole yerselves up.