Public Channel - Important Announcement

[cuckooed]

[The day after the Ringmaster's public address, the public channel comes alive again, this time with the voice of Koel Babic. Her voice is quiet, but firm.]

Good morning, everyone. This is Koel Babic, your Head Cook.

Starting tomorrow, the Warden and the Ringmaster has authorized an instructor to hold weekly basic training classes, after carnival hours. All employees will be required to attend the first meeting in order for the instructor to ascertain everyone's defensive and offensive capabilities; after this first meeting, only those who do not pass a preliminary assessment will need to attend.

Oh, and the Supervisors - myself included - will be more than willing to personally escort you to the meeting, should you somehow conveniently forget to attend. I simply recommend you don't inconvenience them. Absence based on injury or illness will be accepted so long as our Doctor, Zecora, has confirmed its legitimacy, but you will be expected to attend the next meeting if that is the case.

[A brief pause.]

That is all.

Comments

[cuckooed]

No. Not normally. And of course, there is no guarantee it can't happen again.

[faking]

I bear an affliction of little renown to those who scour the body for illness, [says Alois, and his total pomposity means he's laying it on as thick as he can. He's been awfully quiet lately, appearing as little as possible, and never at his best when he does show up. But he's himself enough, at least, to immediately be a total pain in the ass.

Anyway:]

An affliction of the heart, you see. And I fear my livelihood will never wake from its— [The barest of pauses. He's trying to think of the best verbal pretense.] And I fear my livelihood will never rise from the dark of its terrible maw.

[Well, he may have been reading lately, at least.]

So maybe I can't come, sorry.

[cuckooed]

If that's the case, I'm certain you'll have no problem letting Zecora check you to make sure, hm?

[My god you could butter a bagel Alois]

[faking]

Oh, sure, sure, no problem... [Although he doesn't manage to be quite so saccharine as his usual attempts at bullshit.] —But it must be very difficult to perceive these fractures of the heart. You know, where I'm from, it leads to lunatic asylums. They lock you in and tie you up and let your heart be torn asunder, all because of its natural delicacy. Miss Babic, oh, Miss Babic, you won't let Zecora put me in a lunatic asylum, will you?

[And, of course, he's still overacting.]

[cuckooed]

[And salmon lox.]

One can argue you're already in the throes of lunacy. You're here, after all.

[cuckooed]

Keeping one's wits about them is a start.

[cuckooed]

...Thank you.

[Hopefully, the lessons will be a quick thing. A thing that is temporary.]

[faking]

[He stops short. Says, primly,] Well. [She has a point, and it's making him lose steam in his playacting. Mostly he just doesn't want to get out of bed unless he really, really has to, so...

He sighs, and there's a little less grease to his façade. One reason he's been so antisocial lately is that he's just too tired to keep up snotty or sweet appearances, either of them.]

Isn't it enough to know how to hit a person in the mouth? [he asks finally.] I can do that. Can lick a person well enough with just myself, on my own. Any more than that and I don't want to deal with it anyhow, so I should be good just like that. Don't you think?

[mylastchance]

Only experience can teach that.

[kingsroads]

Still, you think irregularities would have been mentioned in the contract.

[ It's only said for a moment before Strange continues, not wanting to seem whiny or anything (even though he DID get shot, a bit of whininess is to be expected). ] There's no use planning for what you thought would never happen in the first place. When I was in the peninsula, we planned for what we thought would happen, not what was a distinct possibility. I suppose that's true of all life.

[cuckooed]

And one can teach others to be prepared for those experiences as best as possible.

[mylastchance]

I already have that experience.

[pipers_son]

[If he denied that, she’d call him out, so Joker doesn’t try.]

Yeah. I’m thinkin’ that I can make some charms that’ll send people somewhere safe- like the clearin’ where all the supervisor trailers are, since we never get guests back that way. I agree with ya that it’d be for the better if everyone knew a trick or two ta get out of a fight, but maybe this’ll do as an alternative, what do ya think?

[empty_vessel]

[OOC: Because Jimmy's player was an idiot and forgot that this comm exists.]

I.. I can't make any promises. I don't do well in fights. I'd be willing to explain, just not over an open frequency.

[He's hoping Koel will remember how badly he reacted to the Agent attack. There's no reason to expect anything other than more of the same.]

[coinsforlockerrooms]

I know only a little about fighting. Locks, holds, punches, and the like thanks to friends of mine, but I've never really practiced them.

I've never found the need to actually fight someone since I've always made friends with the people that did so. But... after what happened at the Matrix, I would like to go to these lessons. What would I need, especially if I am just a normal girl?

... at least, normal for what it counts here.