[Way too much shit has been happening lately, from Julien's call on the radio to San's disappearance to the whole uneasy mess that was the Prince's little hunting excursion. What can Joker even do? He's the Stage Manager; this is out of his jurisdiction.]
[According to Lambert and Childermass, however, he can at least do this.]
Hello, folks. This is yer Stage Manager again, with a little reminder. We are guests here. So try ta follow the rules that have been set in place, alright? This includes at dinner, and at curfew.
I know we're all real curious, half of ya probably never even been in a castle before, but it bears repeatin'-
[And he very suddenly drops his warm and thick accent, going for something that almost sounds proper and is, thus, weird as hell coming out of Joker's mouth.]
Don't break the rules or curfew.
[Aaaaaand then it's back again.]
If yer havin' any trouble with anythin' or have questions, I'm available right now. Yer free ta come find me, over in the library. Have a good night, everyone.
[And for the love of god, don't do something stupid. He knows that's a lot to ask for, but please.]
All right, nightrunners. I’ll keep this short. I want a map of this place and I want to know what might piss the Prince off that they aren’t warning us about. The fae have rules, doesn’t mean they’re not out to trick us into breaking them.
[ It’s not like that’s how the Ringmaster gets a fair amount of her labor or anything. Last thing they need is someone turning into a vase. ]
You see anyone starting shit, figure out how to shut it down without getting attention. The Prince is going to have people working for him too -- don’t get too cozy, they’re not here to do us any favors. Learn anything worth knowing, tell the rest of us.
[Sans is blue.
[Lambert is dark red.
]( [ Supervisors’ Channel ] )[ Public Channel ][ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.[Sans is also here.]The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.
To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]DO:
- Follow the daily schedule
- Follow dress code
- Be polite to The Prince and his servants
- Keep your radio on you
Don’t mess it up.That, too.
- Whine about everything
- Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
- Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
- Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
- Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying
- Tags:9s, allen walker, foster van denend, ginko, hinawa, john childermass, joker, jonathan strange, lambert, lauren, papyrus, sans, susan, tallisibeth (scout)
Nightrider Lambert here. In case you haven't heard by now: the things on Kerner Island eat settled daemons. So find somewhere else to take a daytrip. If you go anyway, do me a favor and keep your radio on you. That way we can all hear what it sounds like when a soul gets eaten.
[ He's about to leave it on that cheerfully sarcastic note, but then the faint sound of a female voice chimes in, scolding. For those who've met her, they'll recognize it as Lambert's daemon, the golden-eyed polecat that wears a hawk's shape outside the carnival. ]
Lambert! You didn't have to say it like that!
[ It doesn't seem to shame him one bit, though, since Lambert's going to keep right on talking: ]
For those of you whose daemon hasn't settled yet, that doesn't mean you get to be an idiot about going out there. Slipping and breaking your neck would be a stupid way to die. That said, if you're interested in doing some nightrunner work--
Come find us! [ The daemon interrupts again, louder this time, and there's a brief sound of a scuffle before her voice finally comes through loud and clear. Now it's Lambert who sounds more distant (and distinctly annoyed), though she talks right over him. ] We've got a map and other things you can use!
[ ooc: Lambert and his daemon will both be replying to his post (and probably fighting over the radio button, honestly). For ease of clarity, her responses will be in italics! ]
[Scout is not entirely sure how to address the carnival like this, so there's a self-conscious sense to her voice.]
They're breeding, so we should probably get this done. If you brought an animal home from Alola, come share what it is so we know if there's any likelihood of it pairing off. Pokemon aren't speciated like normal animals. There are these broad categories they fit into where they can interbreed. This will result in an egg that will be like its mother, not a hybrid or something new.
I'm Scout, I have a togetic named Thranta. She'd be in two breeding groups, "flying" and "fairy", so she's compatible with anything in either of those if the sexes match. Right now I don't think she's that interested, but if I let her progress into her next instar maybe that'd change?
I can't tell you don't go out and encourage them, but you really should be careful and consider if you can handle a second or third animal. This isn't Alola and you can't just release them if you're tired of them.
[ After all that super serious fae speculation, surely the Nightrider would have something important to say, right? Of course he doesn't. ]
All right, so which of you jokers put an egg in Pig's pen?
[ If he sounds faintly annoyed, it's because he is. ]
Now I can't get her out of there -- and before you ask, yes, I tried putting her back in the ball, and then she tried stepping on my head. Obviously, I'm just a little concerned why my horse has decided to try and hatch whatever this is-- [ He breaks off midway, yelling away from the radio. ]
Hey! Baker! I told you to leave that alone!
[ And on that inconclusive note, the radio post ends. ]
[ The radio comes on to the sound of creaking wood and a familiar voice that is, for once, not sounding all that agitated, though it’s a little distant. ]
“--just burn us out of this.”
“Then you’re just going to burn us with it!” [Yuya’s tone, comparatively, sounds snappish.] “Don’t--don’t do anything, I’m going to get us help--”
[The radio clicks off. And then immediately clicks back on.] “Hello?”
[The anger’s been smoothed out of his voice, and instead Yuya is sounding fairly composed.] “Is there anyone available right now who doesn’t mind coming to the Summerlands? We’re, uh--we’re stuck.”
“In a tree.” [ Lambert contributes helpfully. That’s not super specific or anything, and that’s is why burning things would help! There’s another creak of wood, something shifting and shuddering, and his tone doesn’t change a jot as he continues. ] “Which may or may not be trying to hug us to death.”
[Yuya is just going to ignore Lambert’s fatalism.] “We don’t really know where we are, but we were drifting… east of the city? Do these things have GPS?” [Does half the carnival even know what GPS is?]
“We’re going to get out of the tree!” [He pipes up confidently, despite it.] “But help would be appreciated.”
((Red = Yuya, Green = Lambert. Replies are separate, threadjacking is free and wild. These boys are dumb.))
First, did anyone else plant the seeds the Ringmaster gave us after we got back from Hell? [ How many of the new people even know they've been to Hell??? Well whatever, it's not like it's a big secret or anything. ] They grow fast -- mine's already fruiting.
I want to try something, so let me know if you're up to donating some of yours for an experiment.
Second, engineering's working on getting a training yard set up in the forest. It's not all done yet, but there's space for sparring, exercise, and target practice if you need it. I expect to see all nightrunners out there, but anyone else can drop by if they're interested. Only rules are "don't kill your co-workers" and "you break it, you fix it."
I'll be there in the mornings if you need me. Strange, you can come by later, but don't think you get to slack off just because it's performance week.
[ Hey, guess who has his voice back? Turns out traveling to Mainframe gives you plenty of voices to hear. But is he actually going to report back with anything useful? ]
"All of Man’s works, all his cities, all his empires, all his monuments will one day crumble to dust. Even the houses of my own dear readers must – though it be for just one day, one hour be ruined and become houses where the stones are mortared with moonlight, windowed with starlight and furnished with the dusty wind. It is said that in that day, in that hour, our houses become the possessions of the Raven King." [ For once, his voice isn't carrying that edge of mocking, actually managing to sound solemn and thoughtful -- not that it lasts. There's the sound of a book being snapped shut, and Lambert resumes the rest of the radio post speaking in his normal tone of voice: just a touch insufferably smug. ]
Maybe Master Strange should consider becoming a poet, if he ever gets bored of being a magician.[ And then, as an off-handed follow-up to that: ]
All scouts and nightrunners, report in. Let 'em know what they're in for.