THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

public channel

[moonfang]

UuuuooooooouuuuuuUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This is garbage!

Doesn't someone need to... I don't know. Stay behind and watch the carnival? What if some of those stuffed shirts end up being no good thieves and stealing all our shit while we're playing fuckin tea party with some stuck up prince?

[whattaprick]

Do you even own anythingbworth stealing?

[ Because surely that's the important thing to address here. ]

[moonfang]

Me, personally? Well, I have the fake body I'm leavin' behind.

But someone else might have shit! Hell, the big boss might have tons of things! It's stupid to leave the area unguarded.

[and stupid to make me go to this thing!!! unspoken.]

[whattaprick]

Seemed like it was fine after we left it for a month, so that's not a very compelling argument.

What's this about a fake body?

[moonfang]

Yeah but it wasn't connected to Portland -- we couldn't get back to the Carnival even if we wanted! This is more like a normal stop. The people from Greysol could get into the Carnival, why assume that the fae from this stupid ugly castle can't?

I'm kind of a ghost. A spirit. Most normal people can't see me if I ain't wearin' my skin suit. .... Fae aren't "normal people".

[spaghettimonster]

Perhaps everyone's favorite murderous tree will rescue our things!

[moonfang]

Oh god. That palm tree thing with all the heads? The hell is that thing anyway?

[spaghettimonster]

I think it's a pokemon... I only noticed it for the first time after Alola!

And there were trees like it on some islands.

[moonfang]

Alola? musta been before I got here. Whatever it is, it's weird. And it always wants to pick a fight.

But I don't fight trees.

[spaghettimonster]

That seems like such an arbitrary standard!

[moonfang]

They're TREES, man! Trees! Normally they don't fight back.

[spaghettimonster]

Oh! How sporting. But in this case, the tree assuredly will! Just, don't make it more than a vigorous spar.

[moonfang]

I just....


....



I ain't sure I feel super comfortable about all this.

[kingsroads]

Awful.

[ sorry Zan & Papyrus, the peanut gallery's got to interject to hate on trees. ]

[moonfang]

Hehahaha! It just wants to kill everything. A tree after my own heart.

[kingsroads]

It's a she, technically. Her name is Coco. Try to stay clear of the head—that's the worst part.

[moonfang]

Which one? The one on the right, the one on the left, the one in the middle, or the reaaaaally doofy one on the tail?

[kingsroads]

The..."doofy" one. It bites.

[atouts]

The carnival can keep an eye on itself. You'll go and you'll follow the rules, just like everyone else.

[ Which is massively hypocritical of him to say because he would prefer to not go, too. Their track record with other faeries has not been good... ]

[moonfang]

[Boooossssssssssss!!!]

Look, I don't understand manners. I'm not a human! This is stupid!! Why do we all have to go anyway? Is the stupid asshole lonely or something?

[atouts]

Because people who run around naming themselves things like "The Prince" probably pass the time by ordering everyone else around.

[ That can apply to many other titled sorts, too, but let's not get into that long (very long) complaint. ]

And your lack of humanity does not help you in your argument. The Prince isn't human, either. He expects manners nonetheless.

[moonfang]

Which is even MORE stupid. If you're not human and are actually some sort of ultra powerful true fae asswipe, why would you bother with shit like etiquette and manners? I figure the Ringmaster knows what she's doing, or at least she THINKS she does, but what the hell good is he going to be in a battle? Our enemies aren't gonna roll over just cause someone called "The Prince" says "pretty please".

[atouts]

Could be she isn't looking for his aid in battle. Could be he's stronger than he sounds.

That's for the Ringmaster to know, not us. You don't have to be happy about it and you can think it as ridiculous as you want, but that doesn't change that we need to play along. What you do actually need to do is remember that you can't finish your contract out if you end up stomped out by an angry Wyld Faerie with a weird obsession.

[moonfang]

[there's another long, irritated groan from Zangetsu. He hates it when people have a point that he can't contest. Hates it. Childermass is absolutely right; if Zangetsu dies because of some stupid manners, he won't get his contract wish.

There's another grumble and a sort of "ssnsnnnnnrrrrffff" as Zangetsu drags his hands across his face and nose]

Fine. Fine. But there ain't no way I can learn sufficient manners in that short a time period! What should I do? Maybe I should just pretend to be mute.

[atouts]

You could get away with only speaking when spoken to. After all, dinner conversation is not a requirement if you let everyone else do all the talking for you.

[ Which is more or a less approval for Zangetsu simply not talking. Pretending to be outright mute, well, that could be easily disproven, but still. ]