THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

Supervisor's Channel

[dorkypantsuit]

If anyone sees Foster being dumb please restrain him. Or just knock him out actually. That's probably best.

[osteothropy]

Wow Psi, you're really twistin' my arm here... but I guess I'll have to concede to your request.

[He's being sarcastic.]

Supervisor's Channel

[pipers_son]

Never gonna let me forget that, huh...

[But there's not Joker's usual joking or easygoing tone in the words. He's sort of preoccupied with everything else.]

So basically on my end, that's just Strange for ya, right? Honestly, it's 50/50 if he does somethin' stupid, but I'll keep an eye on 'im if yer too busy with the rest of our lot. [Which they all know will be a good chunk of the carnival.] Everyone else I think I should have a handle on.

[He can think of a few people he needs to keep an eye on more than others but, for the most part, Joker thinks- hopes- that the majority of Performance will behave themselves. Might just have to brush them up on their manners if nothing else.]

Supervisor's Channel

[dorkypantsuit]

[GROANING]

Ughhhh, I forgot about Strange.

[osteothropy]

It was memorable.

[Preoccupied or not, Sans is coming at you, Joker.]

You know, the kind of event that really stick in your head.

Supervisor's Channel

[whattaprick]

He's also a mercenary, so he's part of the round-up crew.

[ Unfortunately. Lambert's tone suggests no, he doesn't actually fucking know why he's one either, especially since by all accounts he came to the Carnival batshit crazy. ]

The mirror thing's too useful to keep him out of this mess. I'd worry about kids, if you've got them.

[atouts]

Shockingly enough, Mr. Strange is liable to be the most qualified for surviving this. He was raised to society. He understands the rules of his betters.

public channel!

[kingsroads]

The Ringmaster said that London was one of the Prince's inspirations. Well, I've plenty of experience with London's high society and all the unspoken rules it contains. If you have any questions about fashion sense, politeness, or table etiquette that your Supervisor can't answer, seek me out and I shall try my best to help.

[ cause while a few of the supervisors have the here's how to manners thing down pat (most notably Joker and Childermass), a few of them are Lambert and Peridot. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Hey fuck you, he knows which fork to use at a dinner and not to put elbows on the table and that's all people need! ]

Considering you barely know how to dress yourself, maybe they should pass on the fashion sense.

Public Channel

[pipers_son]

Ya heard mum and dad, folks. Performance, if ya think yer gonna lose yer calm or don't understand the fancier manners, just come find me. I'll have my radio on me at all times, and I expect the same for all of you.

Yer my priority, after all.

[osteothropy]

Serious question:

Am I mum or dad?

public channel

[puddingemote]

Life or death...?

[This is getting Serious.]

What's the dress code?

[Probably not his hoodie, huh?]

[osteothropy]

Apparently the Prince is going to have clothes available for us. So, it's pretty much just wearing what you're told.

Supervisor channel

[periphrasing]

Um, here's a question: Do either of you have any thoughts on what to do if, say, even though I'm a totally incredible and COMPLETELY competent supervisor otherwise, I've suddenly found myself with an employee who hates me for a completely arbitrary and discriminatory reason?

You know. Speaking purely hypothetically.

[She sounds super irked.]

[dorkypantsuit]

[You can't hear it, but Psi is definitely laughing at hearing this. Into the radio he says:]

Have Rini give them a talking to?

Public Channel

[spaghettimonster]

Am I already dead? I thought I just heard Sans, telling me to be punctual and well-dressed.

[osteothropy]

We all have to make sacrifices for the team.

General Channel

[criticallyfucked]

[Foster has already gone to some... extra effort to be able to adhere to the dress code, actually.

Table manners, though?

That was doomed even before he had massive furry paws (which absolutely are not compatible with a fork and knife, and only somewhat accommodate the use of a spoon.)]

So... is choking on something a breach of table manners?

[dorkypantsuit]

Are you trying to be funny?

Public channel

[sunflowerfields]

[We're all doomed.]

How much time do we have to prepare?

[She knows the basics of being polite, but when it comes to all that extra tableware you get at fancy dinners she's at a loss.]

[whattaprick]

Like the Ringmaster said, we leave after supper.

[ So nope not a lot of time. ]

public channel

[anti_nonsense]

Another fae realm. Table etiquette.

You've got to be kidding me.

[osteothropy]

I don't kid.

[Wait for it.]

I only goat.

[stillwinningthehardway]

I don't see any way this will end well. Maybe if it was just for an afternoon.

Well, you won't have to worry about me.

[whattaprick]

I'll take it. From the sound of it, we're going to be there a few days, at least.

Public Channel

[destiny_key]

I dunno, guys... This all sounds kinda fishy to me.

Remember the last time we made a non-performance stop?

[Vampires happened. He's not keen to repeat that experience.]

[otoko]

We have little choice.

You will notice, as well, that the Ringmaster herself seemed just as cautious in her announcement-a contrast to that particular location.

[He VERY much remembers it, don't worry.]

IT'S A TWOFER-

[insidescoop]

[SUPERVISOR'S CHANNEL]

....Ah....I'd almost...forgotten about the guillotine...

[Eeps.] I-I know this is serious but it's alright if I try not to think of that as a possible consequence right?? I feel like I'm going to just end up jumpy otherwise!!!

[PUBLIC]

Hoooo! Oh boy!

It sounds like some of us are already getting ready to demonstrate or watch the demonstration, but there's a few things for clothing that I definitely want to make sure everyone has down pat!

If we're lucky the servants there will be helping too but... ...Ahem-!

There's a good chance that if clothes are provided, it won't just be one outfit..! So before we all leave, especially anyone who isn't really humanoid by now, I'm open to give some consultations so you can pick the best thing for yourselves!!

...Because seriously, how you look is probably going to make a huge difference if this is anything like the other place...

[Specifically that one castle place...Hooboy.]

Public Channel

[spaghettimonster]

I was never human, and don't know how humanoid I am... But! I will need an expert consult! On finding some way to downplay my handsome face, to help me avoid... attention.

[atouts]

[ supervisor's channel ]

Hmm. I have been meaning to try out leaving someone in a shadow until further notice if you end up needing someone to vanish for an hour or so.

[ Only slightly better than suggesting all troublemakers be turned into animals for the stables. ]

[ public channel ]

Or they can break the rules, lose the protection granted to guests by a hospitable host, and live out the rest of their days as a chair or vase or something actually useful like that.

[ But that aside, he'll pause, considering for a brief moment, then add— ]

And those who would normally fall under the supervision of the Treasurer, please feel free to come to me if you find yourself misunderstanding something or in need of aid. It isn't a permanent arrangement, just in the case of dire circumstances.

Public Channel

[spaghettimonster]

Live as a chair, for life, for using the wrong fork...? No wonder fae weren't much better than demons.

[Angel Sans' reaction to everything makes a little more sense with that perspective.]

public channel

[moonfang]

UuuuooooooouuuuuuUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This is garbage!

Doesn't someone need to... I don't know. Stay behind and watch the carnival? What if some of those stuffed shirts end up being no good thieves and stealing all our shit while we're playing fuckin tea party with some stuck up prince?

[whattaprick]

Do you even own anythingbworth stealing?

[ Because surely that's the important thing to address here. ]

[mirrortide]

What if some of us don't know table etiquette because we don't eat?

[osteothropy]

Are you one of the gems that can eat? Because if you can get some basic food in mouth action going that'll probably be better than nothing.

[starseedling]

[Steven sounds like he's hesitant to ask, but after listening to a lot of the discussion, he finally peeks into the conversation.]

But... what about the servants working there? They're not... okay. Are they?

[It's hard to imagine a situation where a fae like this could have workers that were actually happy. The Ringmaster seems like a rare exception in that, and she doesn't like him at all.]

[pipers_son]

[Ah. Right. Besides the upfront troublemakers... Joker has to deal with this kind of empathy. He takes a deep breath before answering, using his kindest voice possible.]

We might only know when we get there, I think. But in our case, the best thing we can do is not make any trouble for 'em. Don't give 'em more work than they already have, right?

[dontpokethat]

How strict are the... 'fashion sense' and 'etiquette' things going to be?

[osteothropy]

I figure we should assume 'worst case scenario' and go from there.

[tacosgay]

So, what you're saying here is that, essentially, we're completely boned? I mean, I can't speak for most of the carnival, as I'm pretty sure I've never even spoken to half of you out there-- in which case hi, I'm Taako from TV, it's a pleasure-- but out of the handful of people I've met, I can say with certainty that most of them would likely end up stabbing themselves trying to sort out how to hold a fork correctly, and at least one person here is seemingly allergic to shirts.

[whattaprick]

Do you know your way around this?

[ The last time he heard Taako on the radio he's pretty sure he sounded like he fit into that vague category of 'people sowing dissent' but if he's actually going to be useful this stop, he's got no shame taking advantage of it. ]