THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

[stillwinningthehardway]

That is very gracious of you, Master Strange. How like a gentlebeing of your station to put it so.

[kingsroads]

Thank you, Miss...this might be a rude question, but do you have a last name in the first place?

[ Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy is like twelve names. She's firmly 'Scout' in Strange's mind. ]

[stillwinningthehardway]

I do. It's Enwandung-Esterhazy. With regrets, I can't tell you a thing about it or what it means. I was a foundling, and only my name and the name of my world remains.

[More or less true? There are also unpleasant rumors.]

[kingsroads]

Oh good Lord, [ Strange can't help but spit out. ]

In that case, thank you Miss Enwandung-Esterhazy. And apologies in advance if I misremember your name at any point during our stay.

[stillwinningthehardway]

[She laughs.]

I'm sure you can see why I go by Scout. If just one name is absolutely required, it's Esterhazy. I had a sort of title, but it's now revoked, so you'll have to forgive me for claiming humble status.

[That's the politest allusion she's ever made to Order Sixty-Six.]

[kingsroads]

A wise choice. Claiming humble status is what will see us through this as easily as possible, Miss Esterhazy.

[stillwinningthehardway]

Of course. Please keep this in mind for yourself, as well.

[kingsroads]

Why Miss Esterhazy! Are you implying that I'm not particularly humble?

[ he ain't. ]

[stillwinningthehardway]

No, of course not! Only that you are human, and all on it's own that's humble enough, to such people as our host.

[kingsroads]

I think 'unimportant' might be a better descriptor in the Prince's mind. Still, I understand what you're getting at.

[stillwinningthehardway]

The less interesting we are the better. So, here's a challenge, Master Strange: can you be boring?

[kingsroads]

I can certainly be boring! It's quiet and out of the way that I'm worried the most about.

[stillwinningthehardway]

That still sounds like the kind of thing you'd struggle with! Have you ever even tried being just, bland?

[kingsroads]

I tried to be a botanist once. [ during his pre-magician phase. it lasted two days before Strange found himself sneezing thanks to the pollen and gave it up because the scents of certain flowers gave him a headache. ]

That's perfectly bland!

[stillwinningthehardway]

Make sure to talk plants. I'll pretend I'm interested. We'll be very, very boring.

[kingsroads]

Once you're bored of plants, then I shall talk to you about tax codes. I was an accountant in Portland and, unfortunately for us both, I believe I remember most of the ins and outs of the Portland tax code laws.

[stillwinningthehardway]

Oh. Oh, that sounds enthralling.

Come to think of it I picked up some things about herbs back there. Terrible things about them not working but people thought they would, mostly? Capitalism is tiring.

[kingsroads]

Capitalism is tiring and people are always looking for an easy way out. I'd love to hear any sort of herbal knowledge you managed to pick up.

[stillwinningthehardway]

Both good topics. We'll be set for days at this rate.

[kingsroads]

Hopefully we won't be here for days.