THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

[dressedtothe]

What if I want the long version?

[kingsroads]

Then I'll write a long version but summarize it at the end. Better?

[dressedtothe]

Great!

[He's gonna digitise that shit and bring it back home.]

What's the point of all the rules, anyway? Why isn't it something simple, like, I dunno, don't backtalk the guy hosting you? Or, no chatter unrelated to the mission?

[Guess who gets told off for not sticking to protocol all the time?]

[kingsroads]

How much do you know about the concept of 'etiquette'?

[ considering he had to explain to 9S why people get married, it's a PRETTY VALID QUESTION. ]

[dressedtothe]

Um...

[There's your answer.]

[kingsroads]

[ well shit. ]

Human society has all sorts of rules. Some of them are for keeping people safe and some of them are for keeping yourself safe. The ones that keep you from offending or disgusting those around you are called etiquette.

[dressedtothe]

I don't see what the big deal is. If you offend someone can't you just apologise? A big ol' list of rules and regulations is just asking for them to be broken!

[Also because he listened to the other conversations]

And it's just so inefficient. How does anyone get anything done following them all?

[kingsroads]

But wouldn't you rather not offend someone in the first place?

[dressedtothe]

I guess.

But if they're so easily offended, maybe they should learn to take it easy like the rest of us.

[kingsroads]

The rest of us? You do know that I'm from sometime apparently close to the time we'll be visiting.

[dressedtothe]

[No. He had no idea time period was even a factor?]

Well, yeah. But you don't care about how I dress or how I eat or how I talk to you!

[A pause.]

... Do you?

[kingsroads]

Perhaps. [ Strange is being a jerk! ] Do you think I care about how you dress or how you eat or how you talk to me?

[dressedtothe]

[Wow don't put this back on him!]

Nah. You're not strict or professional like my operator.

[kingsroads]

Only because I'm not a supervisor. You can't criticize your equals the way you can criticize your inferiors.

[dressedtothe]

Technically you're my superior, being human and all. Besides, Lambert doesn't care as long as the job gets done.

[That's just the feeling he gets from the time he was scouting with the boss.]

[kingsroads]

I am? [ SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. ] In that case, take off that blindfold when you talk to people. I know you can see, it's rude to not make eye contact with someone while you're talking.

Further judgement shall come when I actually see how you eat.

[ this is 100% Strange being a shit ]

[dressedtothe]

Fiiine.

Do you have to judge? I don't even need to eat. If it's gonna be a huge hassle I'm gonna skip.

[kingsroads]

Oh no, you're going to eat. It'd be rude to skip the dinner but just as rude to attend and not eat. If you can, you're going to do so.

[dressedtothe]

I like having dinner. But if I'm gonna have to use a million different eating utensils...

[S I G H.]

Is rejecting some of the food going to be rude?

[kingsroads]

It depends on the food. Do androids get allergies?

[ a question that Strange honestly thought he would never ask. ]

[dressedtothe]

What's allergies?

[kingsroads]

If you're allergic to a food, it makes you unwell if you eat it.

[dressedtothe]

Is it still an allergy if I die from it?

[kingsroads]

[ Strange splutters for a bit before, ] Yes! Yes, that's definitely an allergy! This should be obvious, but don't eat any foods that would kill you!

[dressedtothe]

I'm not stupid. I don't have any spare bodies here.

[So really, the only thing stopping him from trying food that'll kill him is the fact he won't be revived.]

But would it be offensive to refuse something that would kill me? He sounds like the touchy sort...