THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

[mirrortide]

If you hurt Steven, I will hurt you.

[The answer is never, for the record.]

[whattaprick]

Why would I have to?

Seems to me like he can do that all on his own.

[puddingemote]

Hey, Lam-san. He's a little kid.

[Like what the fuck man.]

[whattaprick]

So what?

Can you think of any other little kids who can willingly go to hell, survive a month thinking they're a changeling without going crazy, and heal someone back from death by spitting on them? Because I can't.

[ Is he insulting Steven or praising him...? Hard to say, with how flat his voice is. ]

He's seen enough to know better.

[puddingemote]

...The hell? I can't tell if you're being mean or not...

[What are these backhanded compliments? Also, those things are Highly Specific, Lambert.

But more to the point...]

Lots of kids go through bad stuff. That doesn't mean you can bully them!

[whattaprick]

This counts as bullying now?

[ He laughs. It's a small, mean sound, but small and mean is exactly what Lambert feels like right now. ]

If he thinks I'm wrong, he can tell me to shut up himself.

[puddingemote]

Yeah. You're being mean just 'cause you can.

[Tamaki is rolling his eyes in his trailer, because, well, he's not really in the habit of treating younger kids like they're adults, so he doesn't really get why anyone else would, either. Just because Steven can survive a terrible situation and not die doesn't mean he can't be hurt emotionally.]

He just wants to help. Do you want to make him not want to help anymore?

[whattaprick]

Mean's what I am. Haven't you figured that out by now?

[ But whatever. He said he'd lay off, so there's a pause where he just exhales (does it sound like more of a strange hiss than it should? Maybe) as the desire to yell his head off passes as quickly as it came. When he finally speaks, it's still short and clipped. ]

What I want is to get through this without anyone getting cursed, trapped in another fae realm, or dying.

[puddingemote]

Not to me. I thought you were cool, Lam-san.

[Teasing isn't the same as... whatever this is. It's different from what Tamaki's used to.]

We all want that. But Stevicchi has a big heart. So he worries about others. It's not bad? He just needs someone to tell him, if it can't be done.

[mirrortide]

[JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE RIGHT.]

You better hope I don't see you any time soon.

[whattaprick]

[ LAMBERT IS A KEEN JUDGE OF WHAT TO SAY TO BE THE BIGGEST FUCKING DICK AT ANY GIVEN TIME ]

Well, I hope everyone who cares so much realizes I'm contractually obligated to kill to protect you.

So think twice about starting fights I have to finish.

[mirrortide]

[wow never has lapis wished so hard she wasn't under some bullshit fae contract more than at this moment.]

[insidescoop]

LAMBERT!

[buddy u better not]

[whattaprick]

Another lecture? Because this is such a great use of our time.

[fortuneglass]

[Carly's tone is a stern one, and one far colder than any time she's actually tried to give a lecture, at this point. Evidently he crossed some imaginary line that Carly assumed everyone could see.]

There are things that people need time, even just a few minutes, to think about before they can understand it!

And right now YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM THAT TIME! With everything everyone here has been through, he'll be able to figure it out WITHOUT someone adding insult to injury!

Or do you really think you're helping NOW, bringing up things like that! Bringing up the past, or what's waiting for us, alike!

....He'll understand what needs to be done once he's calmed down, just like all of us.

But right now, fighting with people doesn't help ANYONE!

And neither does saying the kinds of things that are supposed to START fights!

[whattaprick]

And I'm sure everyone telling me to shut up instead of letting him do that himself is helping, right?

But fine. I'll leave it.

[ Lambert sounds entirely remorseless. ]

[fortuneglass]

I can't stop everyone from talking to you, [She admits levelly.] But YOU could have stopped talking just as easy as we can now...so I really, really hope you mean it when you say you're going to leave it!

And in the meantime, you should think about what being in charge actually means, especially as one of the two who are supposed to be making sure we can keep ourselves under control once we're there!

Because you FAILED so far!

[She caught the remorseless-]

[osteothropy]

Carly, I feel you, but you're not exactly presenting the image of solidarity yourself. Lay off. If Lambert is going to learn anything it won't be from you telling him repeatedly.

....I thought this sent lmao....

[fortuneglass]

[Well there's certainly no answer-evidently she was done when she left her last shout at Lambert himself.

She probably needs to go burn a hole in the lake or something.]

how many times is lambert going to end up making a nightrider joke at your characters...

[whattaprick]

Guess that's why they don't call the job Nightnanny.

[ When in doubt, fall back on sarcasm. But really, this is his best effort at biting his tongue, and he doesn't have anything further to add himself after that. ]

[kingsroads]

Other people have been through just as much as Steven has. [ and here comes like literally the only person who will defend Lambert. ]

Besides, it's quite hypocritical of you to say that fighting doesn't help anyone as you continue to fight with Lambert.

[osteothropy]

I think it's probably worth saying that there's more to worry about in this situation than whether or not you can handle a salad fork. We've got no idea what kind of kangaroo court this is going to end up being.

But. Yeah. For the moment we should all shut up and get back to work. As much as it pains me to say that.

[He's not exactly tickled with this argument but it can't be what they are all fixating on right now.]

[kingsroads]

Sans is right. [ words that Strange never thought he'd ever say. ] Everyone just...calm down and have a drink. We're leaving in a few hours anyway.

[fortuneglass]

I just said everyone has been through plenty!

But that's the point! EVERYONE has been through plenty, and everyone isn't just going to take what happened, and be fine! If he needs to get angry about that, then this isn't the place!

[Also, she got him to say he'd lay off, so that's a Plus in her books. She certainly didn't have to have a full exchange at least.]

And I'm already done!

[Now excuse her, she needs to boil about 1/3 of their lake-]

[kingsroads]

You still don't understand my point, [ Strange grumbles. Everyone has been through plenty--and at least in Strange's mind, that obviously includes Lambert. How is Lambert yelling at Lapis any different than Steven yelling at Strange?

But mom's Sans is here and Strange REALLY doesn't want to get into a fight, so he lays off. ]

But fine, I won't press. Hopefully everyone will have calmed down before the dinner—I'll see you then.