THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

[stillwinningthehardway]

Could you try writing a short primer?

[Hastily:]

If your handwriting's legible, I mean. If we could get copies of that, I don't think checking on them would be too big of a breach as long as we're not in front of this prince at the time.

[osteothropy]

Wouldn't count on the "short" part.

[kingsroads]

I can write something short and legible, thank you very much! Though I wouldn't worry too much about it, Scout. I've a feeling you'll do marvelous at this.

[ because she knows how to shut up and be polite! ]

[stillwinningthehardway]

Thanks. I know I will, but a reference is usually helpful. It sounds like this is going to be really formal.

[kingsroads]

That it does. [ and Strange laughs a little before saying, ]

Is it bad to say that I'm looking forward to this a bit? At least this is worrying for my life and dealing with the fae in a situation I'm familiar with, not worrying for my life and dealing with the fae in a completely foreign situation.

[stillwinningthehardway]

No, that makes sense. I'm sure it won't be exactly like you're hoping, but you've got both feet on the ground for something like this.

If this was a situation where you could volunteer or stay, I think I'd come. [They might need her.]

[kingsroads]

I know it won't exactly be like my England, what with the whole fae aspect, but I don't mind close enough to count.

[ especially since Strange...reeeeally has no idea if he'll ever see England again, thanks for that canon update. ]

And if this was a situation where you could volunteer or stay, I'd badger you into coming! You've a good head on your shoulders and aren't as erratic as some of the other carnival members. [ plus, Scout's good in a fight and considering that they're heading right to a manor run by one of the Wyld Fae, the likelihood that they'll end up IN a fight is fairly high. ]

Besides, you weren't at the Celebration, were you? If we end up having a ball or play cards or anything like that, I want to show up the rest of the nightrunners!

[stillwinningthehardway]

Aww, Strange, flattery! It's ridiculous that I'm in a place where I'm stable and predictable, but I guess everything's relative.

I wasn't, but I've heard something about it. You know it doesn't sound hard to show them up though, right? We're both more familiar with formalities than most of them.

[kingsroads]

In that case, I'll have to focus on solely showing you up.

[stillwinningthehardway]

I see how it is. If you give me a primer you'll take all the credit for my performance!

[dressedtothe]

What if I want the long version?

[kingsroads]

Then I'll write a long version but summarize it at the end. Better?

[dressedtothe]

Great!

[He's gonna digitise that shit and bring it back home.]

What's the point of all the rules, anyway? Why isn't it something simple, like, I dunno, don't backtalk the guy hosting you? Or, no chatter unrelated to the mission?

[Guess who gets told off for not sticking to protocol all the time?]

[kingsroads]

How much do you know about the concept of 'etiquette'?

[ considering he had to explain to 9S why people get married, it's a PRETTY VALID QUESTION. ]

[dressedtothe]

Um...

[There's your answer.]

[kingsroads]

[ well shit. ]

Human society has all sorts of rules. Some of them are for keeping people safe and some of them are for keeping yourself safe. The ones that keep you from offending or disgusting those around you are called etiquette.

[dressedtothe]

I don't see what the big deal is. If you offend someone can't you just apologise? A big ol' list of rules and regulations is just asking for them to be broken!

[Also because he listened to the other conversations]

And it's just so inefficient. How does anyone get anything done following them all?

[anti_nonsense]

Seconding this. If I have to listen to you drone on about manners in person, I'll probably just fall asleep.

[And at least she can tolerate Strange's writing, even if she complains about that too sometimes.]

[kingsroads]

I don't drone.

[anti_nonsense]

You sure about that?

At least when you do it in writing, I can just skim to the important bits.

[kingsroads]

Or, you can read it thoroughly because that's the best way to gain all the information.

[anti_nonsense]

Yeah, whatever. Are you gonna write it or not?

[kingsroads]

I will, I will. I'm only writing one though, so anyone who wants a copy will have to write it out themselves.

[anti_nonsense]

That works. [For all the attitude she's giving him, Rita knows they only have so much time. She can copy notes pretty quickly, anyway.]

I don't suppose you know a good way to avoid most of these social situations to begin with... like, I don't know, just skipping dinner? Stuff like that?

[kingsroads]

No, skipping dinner would be seen as terribly rude. If there's any post-dinner activities, I'm sure you can skip some of them by claiming a headache, but it would be best if you attended all dinners or dances.