THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

[osteothropy]

If dratini is into it, sure. I guess? No clue how this is gunna play out in practice. But, if you can't eat, you can't eat. My condolences, by the way.

[periphrasing]

That's a lie, SHE'S LYING! LAPIS YOU LIAR!!

[osteothropy]

Gasp!

[periphrasing]

The only reason I can't eat is because I can't shapeshift to make a bunch of stupid organic guts to do it with! Lapis has no such restriction!

[osteothropy]

Wow. Lapis, how do you plead?

[mirrortide]

Not guilty. She hasn't ever seen me put anything in my mouth. She can't prove anything.

[osteothropy]

A sound rebuttal. Peridot, your thoughts?

[periphrasing]

Alright, fine, I will concede that I've never seen her consume any food. But I have seen her shapeshift! She's been shapeshifting on and off since she got here, trying to hide her fae changes! Therefore, she could eat if she wanted to!

[osteothropy]

Huh. Compelling evidence from both sides...

[Sans doesn't even know what to do with this. At the moment he's basically just stirring the pot for the sake of it.]

[periphrasing]

Whatever, she's still lying! She... She's lying so hard, we should just call her... Lapis LIESuli!

[mirrortide]

I'm hurt you would call me that, especially when I'm doing nothing but telling the truth.

[shes smirking. peridot can probably see her smirking from where she is.]

[periphrasing]

[Peridot turns to Lapis. Scowls so hard it looks like she's going to pop something. And then uses her metal powers to yank the radio right out of her hands.]

[mirrortide]

[There's some muffled noise and lapis yelling HEY!, but honestly, she's not going to dive to get her radio. She's just going to make a face at peridot]

[periphrasing]

[She doesn't break eye contact with Lapis as she lifts the radio and speaks into it:]

If anyone is still listening: I'm exercising my authority as a supervisor and suspending liesuli's radio privileges until she stops being a CLOD!

[mirrortide]

[There's the delightful sound of lapis putting her hand to her mouth and making a loud and obnoxious PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT sound.]

[osteothropy]

Uh...

[Well this escalated further than he was expecting. Sans is sort of at a loss for words, an uncertain how seriously to take this spat.]

Okay. Sure.

[periphrasing]

[On a scale of 1-10? Like a 7.]

GREAT. THANKS.

[And she signs off.]

[IN PERSON]

[periphrasing]

It's not FUNNY! [Peridot snaps at her, one radio clenched in each hand.]

[IN PERSON]

[mirrortide]

What's not funny? [Lapis actually has no idea why Peridot is upset??? But she's also not exactly the most sensitive Gem in the multiverse.]

[periphrasing]

You! Pretending you're like-- Like-- [She splutters and then gestures violently at... All of herself.]

[mirrortide]

... Like you? [You can see the clear confusion on Lapis' face for an entire ten seconds before she finally realizes.]

Oh.

[periphrasing]

[She folds her arms and snorts aggressively, glancing away.] It's not funny.

[Repeating herself is all she can think to do.]

[mirrortide]

[Lapis frowns, but it's more at herself then at Peridot.]

Sorry.

[periphrasing]

[Peridot makes a 'tch' noise, but un-tenses her shoulders a bit.]

It's fine. [It's not fine. But she doesn't really see the point of continuing to give Lapis grief about this, and she has already made a way bigger deal about this than she's comfortable with.] It's just... You don't know how hard it can get sometimes. So just... Don't.

[mirrortide]

[She really doesn't get how hard it is for Peridot, because it's just not something she can really understand. Homeworld had all the resources when she was made, whereas they didn't for Peridot.]

I didn't think it was such a big deal since it's not like we normally shapeshift or eat to begin with.