THE WARDEN AND NIGHTRIDER ARE HERE (D170)

[osteothropy]

[Sans is blue.]
[Lambert is dark red.]

[ Supervisor’s Channel ]

All right. [ Lambert’s voice is brisk and business-like, for once, though it still has that familiar edge of sarcasm to it. ]

Okay. [Sans is here, too.]

I’ll get to the point. You know the next stop’s not like our usual. [ To say the least. A beat, before he continues: ] Keep an eye on your people. Make sure they’re actually following the rules, not freaking out and getting us all into shit.

[ That feels like a tall order, though, under the circumstances. ]

That goes for you, too. Keep your head on straight. Any problems or troublemakers you can’t handle on your own, let me or Sans know. This isn’t a performance stop -- if anyone who works for you is assigned to patrol or the nightrunners, they answer to us first.

Speaking of ‘keeping your head on straight’... some of you might remember a certain stop we had a ways back where a few certain someones almost got the guillotine for failing to abide by a similar set up of stuffy royal standards. Let’s not have a repeat of that, cause from the sounds of it the RM might not be able to save you this time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is your opportunity to remain blissfully ignorant.



[ Public Channel ]

[ Lambert’s voice is terse, and irritable: ]

Our next stop’s called Heartstone Manor. We’re going to go over some ground rules to make everyone's life, especially mine, a lot easier.

[Sans is also here.]

The RM has already covered a lot of this in her announcement, but it is officially our jobs to make sure that it sinks in. Dealt with True Fae before? Then you know this isn’t a joke. Yes, your fashion sense and table etiquette are now a matter of life and death. This is me, Sans, telling you to take this seriously. Hopefully that means something to you.

To summarize the gist of what was said, here are some basic RULES. The Nightrider and I will be watching. So, even if the Prince doesn’t catch you, we will.

[Sans recites “The Rules” like he’s just whipped out a pair of reading glasses and is quoting them from an official document:]

DO:

• Follow the daily schedule
• Follow dress code
• Be polite to The Prince and his servants
• Keep your radio on you

DON’T:

• Whine about everything
• Seed rebellion or talk about rules breaking on the network
• Make any deals or promises to other fae servants
• Lay any hard disses on The Prince, ever, under any circumstances
• Don’t sweat the small stuff: this is gunna grate on a lot of us, so just focus on the end goal… which is not dying

Don’t mess it up.

That, too.

Comments

[whattaprick]

Hah. [ Lambert snorts at the idea. ] If only we got paid for that. We aren't assassins -- witchers are trained and hired to kill monsters, not people.

[periphrasing]

Are monsters not also people where you come from, then?

[Sans and Papyrus are monsters. Which means Alphys probably is too. But she's figuring the definition of 'monster' in Lambert's world is more akin to the definition of the word in her own world.]

[whattaprick]

They're not. Mostly. Vampires and werewolves are as smart as they get, and sometimes you get humans who've been cursed into monsters, but those are exceptions.

[periphrasing]

Hm. It's curious how the application of that word changes depending on where you are in the multiverse... Still. You'd think people would be pretty enthusiastic about there being an entire faction dedicated to eradicating things that want to kill them.

[whattaprick]

Well, the 'foul sorcery and devilry' part might have something to do with it. With all the mutations, people don't see us as much more than monsters ourselves. And ones that take their money, which is even worse.

[ He seems to think that's funny, if the sardonic chuckle is any indication. ]

Witchers don't kill for charity.

[periphrasing]

[Money doesn't mean much to a gem. Every last one of them works for free, for the glory and satisfaction of serving the diamonds. It's kind of a lousy setup. But at least no one has to pay for rent or groceries!]

Neither do gem soldiers. But we do work for a higher purpose. You witchers don't have anything like that? ...Also, just so you don't fall under the impression that this comment flew by me: Remind me to ask you about these mutations of yours some time when we're not rushing to prepare for a surprise visit to a terrifying fae realm.

[whattaprick]

Once, maybe. But that was centuries ago. Not much purpose in a drafty castle with bones at the bottom of the moat.

[ And if Vesemir were here, he'd say something about witcher secrets and what-have-you, but right now, it hardly matters to Lambert anymore. ]

Not much to tell. [ But she does have a point ... ] We should get back to it. Like you said, we don't have much time.

[periphrasing]

Rrrrgh. Sometimes I hate it when I'm right.

[SIGH.]

I'll see you there, I guess.