This is…Herbert West: a contributor to the recent cure as you may recall as well as…your new Doctor. [He pauses to let that sink in, sounding really smug about it.] The Medical Team is still, small but as more experienced members join it has become more…evident that we do not have the resources we need to properly, treat the Carnival staff.

Namely: up to date medical documentation on you all—now, I made do before with what I had, during the process of constructing the cure but those involved may recall being asked various questions, questions which would have been unnecessary had the previous department been keeping your notes on file. Perhaps medical files aren’t required by, magical zebras but they are required by. Me. It is considerably easier for everyone when all previous knowledge doesn’t leave with the former physician—I’m sure you can agree. [He’s trying his best to sound congenial, definitely, but it mostly comes off as stilted as usual…maybe it counts that he’s trying?]

Today and tomorrow, myself and Mr Okumura will be available to perform physical examinations; any additional medical history you can provide is, welcome, and if you would prefer to attend on an alternate date, contact me to arrange a time.

[And then because so many people here are damned word weasels:] I have to insist all of you show up. Even if you’re healthy. Especially, if you’re healthy to give us an idea of your baseline state but we will, of course, treat any issues you have. Understand, it’s for the good of the Carnival and everyone’s…future well-being.


[ooc: Make sure to help me out by posting anything you think of to the med tent info post. Also, Herbert is almost literally always in the med tent during daytime hours but let us know if you have an ooc preference for checkups.]

[All right, Alphys, you can do this. It's just like talking on the phone- no wait she hates talking on the phone.

There's a few deep breaths before she finally addresses everyone.]

U-uhh... heeey? This is Alphys, w-w-with engineering? I was just wondering, uh, if anyone here likes... anime...? I have a whole bunch of DVDs now, s-s-so I was thinking that maybe it'd be fun to have, like, a g-group watch? I-I mean! Unless everybody's really busy getting ready for the next show!

S-so, uh, I'm in trailer 20, if you wanna stop by and pick something out that looks fun to watch? I'm not sure what all I even have right now- it was a REALLY big box of DVDs! So, uhh... okaybye! [CLICK]

Hmm, back to the usual routine all over again already? I fear the snow may have made me lazy but I will miss it.

['Lazier than usual' is the correct phrase. If Tyki sounds tired it's because he just woke up. Tyki usually sleeps in unless it is performance week or something interesting is happening. While he detests the radio he will admit not having to be fully dressed is nice. Handling everything at once without having to make multiple calls or trips saves him time.]

I'll be in the The Big Top most of the day but my evening is open for the most part. [There's a heavy sigh as the sound of something shattering sounds nearby and with mild shuffling he's quiet for the next minute or so.]

Nui, if you're not busy I would like to take you up on that offer for the adjustments since I would rather not bother Miss Carly. Doll, I could use a haircut if you're willing. I'll pay you back with a dance up on the wire if you want.

Also... [His voice changes to a smooth tone with an air of mischievousness.] ...if I wanted to saw someone in half, or at least through someone as a magician one day, is there anyone that would be willing to indulge me in that little fun?

[Without bothering to announce himself, Herbert just starts speaking over the radio. His voice is, at least, pretty distinctive, soft and measured and nasal. Probably recognisable as the guy on the first cure announcement.

Who needs names anyway, right? The information is most important.]

The cure for the venom has been completed. For those with the symptom of petrification the procedure is, twofold: a single dose transdermally applied medication as well as a medicinal beverage—those not demonstrating petrification need only ingest the latter. The transdermal medication is formulated in the shape of a solid sphere that will dissolve and subsequently effervesce to distribute itself in water--ideally for use in one of the various, lunar spas for a period of no less than 8 minutes. I…would advise drinking the beverage either after or at least 6 hours before the bath or else, make certain you are supervised…

[Dammit, Lambert. There is so much alcohol in that half of the cure.]

I will be at the small cabin just to the left of the entrance for, those who want to collect their medication—someone will deliver it otherwise. I am, additionally staying on the radio to answer any questions you may have.


[ooc: The cure is here! It's... a weird herbal alcoholic beverage (THANKS, LAMBERT) and uh. Basically the Ectoplasm jelly bath bomb from LUSH. Please call Herbert out on accidentally inventing the bath bomb. The bomb is purple and segmented on the outside and smells of citrus. Once it's been put in water it oozes diluted bright green slime with magic sparkles in it. It glows slightly. The slime permeates the stone and gradually turns it back to flesh. The drink tastes like drinking a herb garden and alcohol. It rejuvenates you from the poison effects and also you'll get drunk. Sorry, kids. Medieval Poland.]

So...seems there's quite a bit I've missed. Would anyone care to fill me in?

Ah, right. Tanyuu Karibusa, make up artist, for any newcomers that don't know me. I've been back in my homeworld for a while, but I didn't realize how long I'd been gone here. Something of a problem with inter-realm travel.

Goood eeeevening, everybody! Junko Enoshima, proud to introduce myself! Guess what? I got hired as a tailor in addition to doing makeup, SO, hooray?


[ She briefly switches to a gloomy voice ] A- ah... it's going to be so much hard work, managing both at the same time... am I really the kind of person to stretch myself out?


[ And now, a metal voice. these icons are just for show ]
Hell the FUCK I am! Which is why I'm propositioning all of your asses right now! I was the world's Ultimate Model, I know the ins and outs of every style of fashion on a regular how-do-you-do Earth to the fantasy worlds we envisioned. I can make ANYTHING. You keep adding to a drawing I make in a little notepad for your request and I can DO IT.


Of course, I will bleed you dry for this service. My talents belong to the carnival itself and any necessary work I am to do. To use its materials frivolously would be against the rules, especially if I were to make you a nice outfit with fabric ordered for a costume.

As a new arrival, there is not much I have that some of you who've stayed longer have. I will barter for goods primarily, and information if you have something big to tell me.


Anyone who tries to cheat me gets an ultra-punishment! Bye-!

[Now that he's feeling a bit better, Susan is starting to think about... Other things. Things like apologizing to the Ringmaster for some of the things he did before, since it turns out his opinion of her was all wrong.

And what better way to apologize than to give her a gift? It worked before, when he apologized to Sans for his brother, so it should at least help now.

Of course that still gives him a problem, namely that he doesn't actually know much about her. But what better way than to ask everyone else? Surely this will actually be helpful and not just be a big mess.]

What sorts of things does the Ringmaster like? Or, what do you think she would like?

This is Peridot: Your engineer and number-one gem speaking, interrupting your usual afternoon radio chatter with an urgent matter of utmost importance. SO LISTEN UP!

[She’ll pause briefly to give people more time to actually turn their radios up and listen properly, because she is actually dedicated to making sure that the whole carnival is on the same page with this.]

A-hem. Thank you. Now as some of you may already know, a small group of dedicated carnival members-- including yours truly—have been coordinating an effort to try and create a possible antidote to the venom of a certain detestable fae. You know the one. The clod that we were all EXTREMELY glad to see get his comeuppance at the hands of our great and wonderful Ringmaster.

Anyway. The Prince may be gone now, but unfortunately, his cruddy venom is still affecting a large percentage of the carnival staff. Worse yet-- through no fault of any of its founding members-- the original antidote team has made very little progress on manufacturing a cure. [Muttering:] Personally, I blame the fact that most of the people who would have been better suited to this work were also counted among those that were missing, but I digress! We did what we could with what we had, okay?!

[Mari is only kind of interrupting this time, but she’s a little more forceful than usual--and a little more animated than this really warrants. She’s just excited about having a new project.]

We've identified the basic problem: that the venom is affecting the soul of its victims and not just their bodies. Physical cures alone aren't going to cut it. We're gonna need magic, medicine, and metaphysical prowess, especially when it comes to souls and soul energy.

And while we can't make you do anything, not helping would be kind of an asshole thing to do right now.

The kind of asshole thing we’ll definitely remember.

[Somewhere off in the background, you can hear Peridot muttering:] Nyeh?

[Promise, threat, same thing.]

The good news is, we do have a new doctor to introduce! He's kind of our only doctor, really. But no one's died under his care yet, sooooo that's probably a good sign.

...take it away, doctor.

[There is a pause because Herbert is giving Mari an incredibly unimpressed look. But, like, fair, he guesses.]

My name is Herbert West, this… carnival’s new medic and as someone previously held captive by this ‘Prince’ I’ve only recently had the opportunity to begin my research into this unique affliction. I have education and previous experience in various forms of medicine and chemistry, especially in regards to specific aspects of pathology—however, I have never encountered… [He’s so reluctant. He is the MOST reluctant.] …what is referred to here as magic. Therefore, any help from those knowledgeable in that particular field and how it might interact with biomedical science, as well as any individuals who may have encountered artificially induced fossilisation in any form previously would be ideal.

Additionally, if you have been affected by the venom and you have yet to visit the medical tent I must insist you do so as soon as possible! My--our development of the cure depends upon data, and we cannot be aware of all the variables without access to each patient. As long as everyone cooperates we should be able to solve this in fairly short order.

Right, so. There you have it. We’ll turn the ‘floor’ over to the other workers who will be heading up some of the other research teams now, but the bottom line here is: We’re all gonna work together, come up with a cure to fix everyone, and it’s GONNA BE GREAT!

So... ripped from my homeworld, semi-brainwashed by some prince guy, now I work in a circus, blah blah blah. I can roll with it. So, what now? We just sit around and wait for the next show, or disaster, or whatever?

[ There's a long, weary, blatantly over-dramatic sigh, as though the thought is the single most painful thing in the world for him. As if some major event hadn't just come to a close that people might still be reeling from. Not his problem, he's bored now. ]

I hate waiting. How's a guy supposed to get his kicks around here? Someone, be my knight in shining armor and save me from the shackles of boredom. I'm dying, here!

[ You would think someone trying to make a good first impression might offer to help, or present himself politely, or at least you know say his freaking name, but.

Well.

He ain't much on making good impressions. ]

Don't keep me waiting.

[ There are a lot of things people need to do right now: help the Prince's servants get resettled, get started on figuring out who can work on a cure for the petrification, deal with the trauma of dying in a hopefully healthy and non-self-destructive way, show the new people the ropes of what the Carnival has to work with.

Instead, in the morning of the second day since the Prince was defeated, anyone on the radio gets this: ]

So, I've been wondering.

[ The Nightrider's voice, for those who recognize it, has definitely been better. It's a low, hoarse rasp, and the pause at the end is not just for effect, but to actually catch his breath. ]

Just how old is everyone here, anyway? Here, I'll start. I'm ... pretty sure I'm almost sixty. [ A beat. ] ... Maybe.

[ Why did anyone let this man have his radio back again? ]

[ ooc; Lambert's flat on his back in the medical tent for this, feel free to bug him in person and threadjack each other at will. ]